Smack Dab in the Middle of 3 Dudes

Brian & Stacey talk about the sad state of San Francisco, hidden restaurant gems in the Tenderloin. The game questions have them fantasizing about far away locations,  favorite rituals  and Stacey's adventures dating three guys in a 12 month period before giving Brian the final rose....

Guests : Aynsley Upton ( Famous Denver Theatre chick AKA: youngest daughter ) is on shamelessly promoting her her new musical "Into The Woods" and also finds time to tell the whole world how broke her dad was. 

Transcript

Unknown: 0:15

This is the broken tiles podcast I'm Brian. And I'm sitting across from Stacy. Upton. This is a remote podcast. Yeah, it's a traveling show today. We're adventuring, Tom, where we are. We are in San Francisco. I almost said beautiful. But there's parts that are not very beautiful. So I chose not to say that. That's actually probably the most politically correct thing that you could say. Yeah, well, I even finding breakfast was a little bit of a challenge, we found a wonderful place to eat, but it was too full to sit in. And my first thought was, oh, well, we'll just find some nice spot and eat it. And then I realized, that's, we couldn't find a nice spot. It was very unpleasant. So we went back to our hotel room. It's weird to be walking to breakfast and talking that much civil and national policy. And yeah, there wasn't just a vegan breakfast burrito? No, it was not there was there was a lot more added to it. But the food was delicious. What the hell do we do on this podcast? We talk about life, we ask questions, which are really meant to be, I would say relationship enhancing questions. But I think it's nice to share with other people about I don't know, depth and how important depth is in fostering a relationship. I think it's important. And we also talk about how to know just the stickiness of life and how hard it can be. And, you know, just trying to get through it in the best way possible, and trying to have some fun at the same time. Right? And did you have something else you want to talk about? Or was it just kind of the intro? I thought you said you might want to do you have something I wanted to share a quote from my book, I'm just going to quickly bring up our sponsor intelligent change. And I have mentioned on on this podcast before the Five Minute Journal, which is how I first became acquainted with intelligent change. It's an amazing way to do gratitude journaling, which, you know, I've wanted to do, and I thought it was going to be a little overwhelming and hard in this book makes it super easy. But today, there was a quote on my page. There's lots of quotes in here as well as little challenges. But today's quote is by Pablo Picasso, I'm ready. Okay. Others have seen what is an ask why. I have seen what could be an AST? Why not? It really stood out to me. Why do you think that is? That's deep. Yeah, it is deep. But tell me why it connected with me. I think you might know, I think you might need to suffering people turning it off. Can you read it again? One more time? Oh, I really did enjoy it. I want to kind of process now that you've I didn't know a test was coming at the end. Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not? I think you're gonna humiliate me on this. I think they're supposed to be something that it's not meant to humiliate you. No, I'm joking. I think that the answer to me is not going to be as apparent. I can see that as far as because I think the first thing we've been talking so much lately, even on this podcast about your kind of like journey with education and your jobs and things like that. So there's a why not travel? We talk about it all the time. You've seen what could be and say why not? It's a I'm not going to kill 20 minutes. Yeah, I will share. It reminds me of you. Because I have seen you be an out of the box thinker. And that's it. You know, when I read that, quote, I immediately thought of you. Not everybody thinks the way in which you do and it's something that is really fun to watch. And it's also fun to see how other people are kind of, I don't know, surprised or even blown away by how you approach things. So it just that quote in on today's page really struck me so I wanted to share it with you. I accept your compliment. No, I said the thing I think about is that would be one of those great ones to either write and erase or marker on your mirror or have somewhere right in front of you for a while to kind of like keep your shit going in a direction that you know is meaningful. and kind of rebalanced quote. And I'm sure that's why it's in that journal. It is. And it's, it's what it is. And I think this is another reason why I really connected with it. It's about growth mindset as opposed to a fixed mindset. And with a growth mindset, you're gonna go so much farther. I have a little surprise for you. A surprise for me. It's a guest. Oh, I love guests. Famous. Oh, I think I know where we're going. There's no way that there's you can't possibly know well, we don't know many famous people. And there's one newly famous person, but I might have reached out. I've got people. millions of followers now I can get anybody we want. Let's see. This is family famous right now. Maybe Denver metro famous. Do you want to clue? I think that was a clue. No, I'm gonna give you a big clue. Okay, go ahead. See if it's pulling up here a little bit. I don't hear anything yet. I know. This is like it's time to go away. Ah, I was right time. My journey. It's the intro to into the woods. Character. Well, maybe we should just let her introduce herself. And what we're listening to here on the line. All the way from Denver, Colorado. Is our youngest daughter, de Ainsley Upton. Hi, honey. Hi. Live guests are the best they are. We feel like any big time podcast with the reach we've got we have people on and you know, the first thing we need to ask is Is there anything you're promoting anything? Anything you want to get out there? I know you're not on here because you love us. You're not here because you're using the reach of the broken towel podcast to probably sell tickets or something. Yeah, maybe. What's going on? Tell us? Well, if anyone is finding themselves in Arvada, Colorado between September 9 October 9, you could get tickets to the Arvada centers into the woods, which would be really fun because I just booked Little Red Riding Hood in into the woods. Hold on. You're not going to hear this. But there is a raucous studio audience right now. Clap for you. I'm begging you people. Please shout louder. They got louder can you? Well, I don't think they're gonna stop it to you tell them to hike down a little bit. That's okay. Come from here. There we go. It's okay. It's okay. Thank you. With the magic, I finally did it stays. I control the studio. Here's how far you've come right now. I want to kill this whole time because people hang up on us or turn it off if we're just talking about you. But honestly, it's a big deal. It's a it's a you know, for you this a little different than Cabrillo in Metro State. And even as much fun as it was this Arvada center, equity roll and all that comes with it's a big deal for you. So congratulations. Thank you so much. I'm very, very honored. Thank you. And I guess I guess to get that part out, honestly, if anybody in towns listening on that side of it, it's our data center, obviously, then also, you set up a cool little link on your website. Yeah, a little Ainsley upton.com, you'll find an immediate link to tickets. And this is actually feeling like a legitimate interview was somebody that's in a show, but you kind of honor I was, I was joking with mom, we saw Harry Potter and the Cursed Child last night in San Francisco. And we were kind of fantasizing and joking about, you know, one day, why not, you know, let's imagine our tradition whenever you get in a show is to go buy a big group of 810 tickets and not even have a plan for it. But then I started looking down the price for this new end of the woods. And I'm like, this is getting out of hand. So I'm pulling for you, but you have to correspondingly start either getting more comp tickets or making more money, where we just buy less. Both welcome. We're gonna get we're gonna get into the game right now. I think you know, because you listen a little bit what we do. And it's we played with Taylor one, one episode, and we thought it'd be fun to break you in today. I think Mom was shuffling through so I'm not 100% But I might know but I don't usually know the questions you definitely want. And so another piece of music you won't hear right now is our sweet band doing our transition music to the question. It's happening right now. Okay, are you ready, honey? I am ready, Mom. Okay, what is your favorite ritual of ours? Pizza and movie night? Oh, man. Oh, that's not what I thought you would get Yes, but yeah, good one. You know, it's it's one that is passed down now forever. So tell more like, why it's so well to you? I mean, the simple answer is, it is just something that always I always looked forward to every week growing up. But the more complex answer is, it was a tradition that we had growing up where me and Bailey at least Taylor probably knew more than we did just because she tends to, but it was a tradition we had growing up that it was meant for us to have something to look forward to. And it was something simple, and it was something cheap. And it was a way that we could hang out as a family and still have so much fun, without really having to, like break any kind of budget. And now now we know like, in our upbringing, that money wasn't always something that was there, in vast amounts by any means. But you and dad never ever made it feel that way. Or even, like, I know, for sure Bailey, and I never had an inkling that something was going on. And it was because you always put so much time and effort into spending time with us as a family. And we didn't know where when we didn't know if money was involved or not. We just knew we were having a good time. And pizza and movie night was the number one thing that we would do almost weekly, and it made us it made me just grow up valuing quality time, and just valuing family. And it's something now that I think all three of us kids walked away with doing like it's something we will do to some extent for the rest of our lives, too. And that's big. And I think the one thing I want, we're trying to do this more now because I think you just did the Ainslie part. And now I think it takes 30 seconds a minute. We're not in any kind of rush because we're doing great on our time on the show today. We're trying is I think what we're trying to do is broadness when somebody's listening, there's the Stasi answer there's a Brian answer. Now there's an Ainsley answer. Pizza and Movie Night, that stop kind of point moment, like, how do you feel like maybe it doesn't all the way right now? How does that translate into a real life relationship right now say Stephen Stephens, Ainsley, his boyfriend, who's part of our little family now, Stephen Beale, Stephen beal.com, they'll put pressure on him to get that website up if he doesn't already, but another equity actor in Denver and live in the same household. But if you could, what we're trying to do is reach out and just kind of talk about how possibly that might be a fundamental thing. That's your favorite family ritual that may help somebody in a relationship somehow. Oh, yeah. Why is family ritual important? There you go. I think a family ritual is important that one specifically, is kind of what I said, it's quality time. You know, even in your podcast a while ago, I think one of the questions was like, What's one of your love languages? Yeah, or something along those lines, and one of my top three is quality time. And if I am spending time with someone if I'm forming a relationship with them romantic or not, if that's not something that they commit to, even if in something as simple as like dinner, and a movie, or just in our own house, like making dinner and having a movie night, it's not a relationship that probably lasts very long. But more importantly, I think that family traditions, in my experience, and the ones that like I've grown up holding on to, they manage themselves in my relationship with Stephen of just like, like, what, what do we value in a partnership to get us through not just like, really good days, but like, the really hard days? And I think family traditions in that sense for me, kind of stem out of that, right? Yeah, that's mom's side of the bag. Now, I'm gonna give you two questions that I'm starting to kind of interject a few from a different book, actually. It's just kind of a break. Not quite as heavy. It's just more of quicker answer ones a mom and I might even jump in on these if we're inclined to but you're the guest. And we got to give you space because you got an ego and it's kind of nuts. She says, Well, here's the here's the question. If you could have been told one thing you weren't told when you were a teenager, what would you like to have heard? And remember this podcast? There's no do you just say whatever you're feeling even if it humiliates mom? Oh, my goodness, mom, not me. While you're thinking, I mean, the ice has been broken. You just told over a million people that was broke and so and I got an easier one if you want to ponder that. Want a bit of an idea of one that comes to your head a little bit? It's like, you know, you're 25, you'll be 26 in October, or 25. And sorry. That's why I always say the ranges you guys are. I know somebody asked me I know Ainsley is between 20 and 28. Bailey's between 22 and 30. Taylor's between 28 and 35. So much easier that is very accurate. Well, it's in that range. So I was in my range. I was right in the middle and dead on for you. Anything else do you? Yeah, there's there's definitely a few things. But I think it's something that Stefan and I actually talk about a lot. And so I'll preface it with this mini conversation that we have is like, both of us experienced growing up it, we experienced it differently. I have been doing theater forever, like absolutely forever. I've been singing and wanting to dance and act for as long as I can remember now. But it wasn't until my senior year when I did into the woods the first time coincidentally, that someone told me that I could do this for real. And I think growing up doing theater and just in in the environment we were in in Watertown. I was never told that, like, this is actually something I could do, I needed to kind of find something else, whether it was sports, whether it was business, school, whatever it might be like that was kind of the expected path. And it's different, because it's, again, like I was always supported in it, you and mom were always 100% supportive of me doing theater, and I never got this impression that like, you need to do something different with your life. Right. But I think if someone had told me early on, yeah, that like, the arts is a career and there's this push, I think that happens with kids, parents will put their kids in a sports camp, parents will pay 1000s of dollars to put them in a sports camp or whatever it might be. And the arts have never instilled don't get that same kind of respect. They want you to play lacrosse or soccer, which I did. And I did do that. And I'll never forget when I quit all of those sports that I was doing in like, eighth grade, and all of my teachers like, they started shaming me for it. And it was because I wanted to do theater more. And it was really confusing. And I laughed at it at the time. But looking back, nobody respected the arts in the way that they respected. Basically everything else. Yeah. And so not that, if anyone had told me that I'm sure my life would have been a little different in terms of my career. Yeah, I would never actually want that to be changed, though. Because the way I have gone through this process of starting my career, I know is the right way. Like I know, everything that has happened is exactly what should have happened to bring me here in this position. Now, I think I would have had a lot more faith in myself, and a lot less doubt in my own capabilities. Right. And yeah, you know, when I knew that you should choose theater as a career over sports. When you were playing basketball and bringing them to court, and you stopped and waved at us in the stands in the middle of a game. I thought maybe there's a chance you're not going to be great at this. And then we're going to do one more fun one here on our way up, because we're at time, but that was actually awesome. We're not even going to jump in on any of this. Right. Next. I think it was good to give you the space. And I think that's let you know, Stacy, because you're kind of farther down this road will kind of maybe evolve this this a little bit. That kind of question, or that kind of a thought process of what Ainsley just said, what's the broader lesson there? Possibly about? You know, things you have been told or haven't been told? And I think she kind of alluded to the fact of, you know, maybe parental maybe from a teacher, maybe from Sure. I think it's, it's more along the lines of respecting. This is what comes to my mind right now, respecting teenagers for who they are and where they are in their journey. I think the way that question was framed, what what what would you have liked to have heard as a teenager, the teenager part is what, you know, stands out to me as very often in society, teenagers that just sort of brushed aside it's like, a really hard time growing up until there's not much value placed in their opinions or their needs and that sort of thing. And I think it's important to share with them, you know, what possibilities there are, what, what might they want to consider and listening to what's important to them. Yeah. And I think what Ainsley was getting across is the arts were important to her sport. Tomorrow night, but she didn't get that message. In the words late in her team, she laid her teeth and all kind of came at once. Yeah, I think we're gonna call it there cuz we're going to try to keep on time and then we'll have you back on again for sure. I mean, probably won't talk to you in between as a parent. But when you get you will just catch you whenever I get a new role and reach out to the I guess your people do we reach out to your people or contact your people. We don't have people so you'll just have the people and we'll talk to your people. Basically your people, we'd like to talk to her daughter. All right, we're gonna let you go. Okay, we love you. They love you. Love you. Bye. Oh, that was fun. It was we're awfully proud of her. So we talked about before Ainsley jumped on, we talked about doing a couple. Well, we mentioned Harry Potter. Yeah, briefly. And let's do a couple of quick San Francisco reviews. We've already trashed the city talking about how rough it is to walk around to let's let's uh, let's finish San Francisco on a positive note. Absolutely. There are lots of positives here. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. That was far better than I expected it to be. And I went in expecting it to be good. Yeah, we're the no spoiler people. It's like my biggest pet peeve is to give too much about something. I think when we talk to the kids this morning, the best review I could give it if you're a Harry Potter fan, if you've either read all the books or seen all the movies, I saw this as an equal balance eighth book. Absolutely. Yeah, it was fully fleshed out with a full story with all of the things that make the Harry Potter books and movies so endearing. Right and it just felt like it was a thought out narrative a an arc it's it's a whole it's three and a half hours including the intermission but that's a long time to sit there and I will tell you don't go to the bathroom 10 minutes left in the first half of the show though because it's spectacular. Okay, you don't want to miss anything. You know, I would encourage you to not drink a lot of water before you go at all because even the intermission it's the line is too long to get to the restroom and they won't let you back in and they will eat back in and so but that is one of the most amazing things I've seen in a theater whether it be musical and or theatre production was a particular take on one scene so don't miss the last 10 minutes of the first half of the show first half Yeah, and that was so the other five star review I think we want to give was a breakfast. Well and dinner last night. Yep, dinner and ammonia. Remember that thong floor? Core? No thong, lor, th O N G thong lor, Lor Thai cuisine. All these are really directly across from the current theater. Yeah. And that was really good Thai food. Yeah. Excellent, tiny little hole in the wall. But sort of a four and a half five star kind of guide is right across from the current theater where we were but that was that was a recommendation. If you're down in this little theater district by the Kern, that's a quick go to they serve you real quick. But breakfast was a revelation. Yeah, breakfast was at a place called the heist and it was pretty busy. So we couldn't get a place to sit inside. Hence the discussion about where we might eat it outside and chose our hotel room. Right? It's 678 Post Street. And it was, again, another little there's limited seating, most everybody was taking it to go. We had some vegan burritos that were spectacular. But we had enough time to kind of look at the rest of the menu and what people had at their tables. And just a quick little three pronged review there. You know, if you want a nice theater experience, go to Harry Potter, get some Thai food. And I do have to say because we brought our dog on this trip with us. So we walked for about three miles to find the park to take her and that was a lovely park. I don't know that. I will. I don't know what it was called Lafayette Lafayette Park. So there is some nice green space. It just wasn't close to the restaurant. Yeah, we were just another half mile away from, you know, Lombard Street and there's a there's a great park right on the top of Lombard across our last time. Exactly. But there was a couple quick little reviews and let's go on to I think what do we all know. Question one for us. We didn't ask each other yet. Correct. Okay, so back to intelligent change or the game that we play. The first card we're going to read is the close. And the question is, again, where else in the world do you want to live? For you and I? This is us planning routes and kind of like having a little fantasy kind of life. Right? Absolutely. I've got sort of a one and a one a I go extreme here. I go extreme because I think we've talked about, you know, living in the most remote Each scenario possible kind of having a little tavern that you go to unlimited sort of resources? I think my one would probably be New Zealand. Oh, wow. As far as if I was going to go live in the Shire and sort of like given to the entire Lord of the Rings narrative, I can see myself doing that with you. Yes, but I think one A would be, I would love to live in Hawaii. I've just had. So I'm so relaxed when we go to Maui and see Deb, who's my aunt. And we generally go into pili area on Maui. They've created a really nice little life there, Debbie and Jocelyn, and I find myself abnormally relaxed when I go there. So that's my answer. I like those answers. Where are you going to live? Well, I also thought of Maui, because it's familiar to us. And it's also, you know, it's so warm, so relaxing, and just beautiful. And lots of places to hike, which we did the last time we were there, which was seven heights and seven days. Yeah, it was quite fun. You made an Instagram page about that, too. Right? It make an Instagram page about everything. Yeah, that's just in case. It has not been updated since we completed those seven hikes in seven days. That's because I was tired. Yeah, you were real tired. And I don't know if she listens to the podcast, but this is a big fu to my cousin Jocelyn. Jocelyn. Yeah, I meant that don't be shocked. I mean, a big fu she told me I can't remember the name of the hike. Now. It was something rich trail. And she told me at the end of that gnarly hike, sweaty 100 degrees that I could jump in a waterfall. She did and that's what kept you going and you weren't you were kind of pissed off. No, I was motive out. I wasn't motivated. But you were hot. And you were not happy because you were uncomfortable. But you were motivated to get there. Yeah, I think you were so far behind me going up there that it'd be hard for me to say that you gauge my entire overall demeanor. I was so excited to work as hard as we could up that incline. It was a hard hike. It was a very hard hike. And we were blown by people. So we were we were we were at a good clip. And I was gonna jump in a waterfall. Yeah. And there was no waterfall and the waterfall. It was just at the top and like a platform built where you just sort of look around. You can look at waterfalls about a mile and a half away. You can't get to them. No. And I think I got up there about 2030 steps before you. Yeah, and I turned around and I said Justin's never done this hike to the top. Oh my gosh, were you angry on the way down? I call her out. Yeah. Okay. So anyhow, that was one of my answers. My other is actually a little cottage in an English countryside. Close enough to London to visit often. But I would love to be kind of remote, not quite as remote as maybe somewhere in New Zealand. My mind's garbage. I couldn't do it. But I think a beautiful countryside in a cottage in England, that would really make me happy. I've told you before I have this dream of living, living on the countryside in England, having our own cows and growing our own vegetables. And I don't know why I want to count now because I don't eat any dairy anymore. But that was the dream a while ago. Just remember my New Zealand image is the circle door in a hillside with a knob in the middle. Completely remote. I'd haven't even read it. But I'd still need to be within five minutes to an hour of seeing the Giants games Regal Cinema for my movies. A whole foods I would be mandatory. That's true. That's my New Zealand. I gotcha. Yeah, I don't know that I would agree to living in a hole in the ground without checking it out first. It sounds cold it seems not appealing. I think the bottom line is you're much more practical than me and I think we agree we're moving probably to Maui if this comes down to it I think that's right so we got to pay the bills Yep. There's a rather special this huge uprising more than most would expect amongst our I'm not gonna call exaggerated but millions of followers now the food millions about even have our own private panel. And what I'm gonna do is I'm going to back out of this really quick right now. I don't want anything to be misinterpreted that my notes for our flagship sponsor is any less than not giving him eight minutes today. I'm gonna give him 37 seconds. Where are we at? Now? You timing. You can expect more from it's over. I mean, okay, and we move on and well good. I'm so angry at Taylor right now. And it's time for question to bring it up. describe our relationship in one sentence. Man, I forgot one thing we said we were going to do. It was gonna start with this episode one, we're going to be much faster. I think we've got an overall now the timer is great. And I think we still got an overall feedback that we should shorten up a little bit people are, we have good engagement rates, but to tighten it up a little bit. One thing I want to go back to the other question for people that are listening, and we're going to talk for 30 seconds or a minute each time about not just Brian and Stacy, not just New Zealand and Maui, because that eventually gets a little tedious. But why would that question? Where else in the world would you want to live? Why would that be possibly meaningful just in a day to day relationship? Yeah, I think it's important to think about that a little bit, because i don't know i i would say that. Well, I know, there's actual actual scientific research that shows that when people in a relationship have new experiences together, it creates a greater bond. And so if you can think about what adventures might we have together, whether you're thinking about something like we've just done, you know, on a whim gone to San Francisco for the weekend? Or where might we live in the future? This, this act of dreaming and thinking about new experiences actually heightens that bond? Yeah, I think that's exactly it on this question to expand the thought of it. And let's, let's be honest, talk about you and I 31 years, 32 years together? And because of a question that you've never asked me, from the silly little game, the values came out of my mouth. No, just the New Zealand surprised you that's very hard to have surprises and relationship 32 years after it. And so if little questions like this, or even, you know, maybe doesn't have to be a card game all the time, it can be some shit that's in your head and your turn to your significant other and say, but you never want to live anywhere else. And now you're engaged in a different way. Well, and I think that's why I'm I've always, not always more recently been drawn to these question games, because I find it's hard to spark conversation that you haven't had before. And I'm not ashamed to have a little help in that area. Right. So that's why I started bringing in question games to family events. It's been fun. Okay. describe our relationship. In one sentence. You go first. Oh, man. I'll help you. It's been enough time yet? I think it has you got one sentence? Well, that'd be a long one. Cuz I have no idea. You're buying time for yourself right now? I see. Okay, I would have to say I like to think I think of our relationship as we give each other equal amounts of space to be who we are, while fully supporting each other, and working on our own selves. That's a run on sentence. It is. Yet it's hard to get something succinct. No, I like it. I like the premise of the question. Because playing around with different things, and my brother's a writer, I've dabbled enough in that to know that a lot of times what they want from you is an elevator pitch, or they want one sentence to describe your entire goddamn novel. In many people will tell if you can't describe something, a concept you have in one sentence, then you haven't fully fleshed it out. Need more time than what we have right here to do that. I feel fulfilled by our relationship. Oh, that's nice. I do. And I think it's, it's, for me, it's the overwhelming sense I have, I think that sentence in a way encompasses without thinking about it too much. All the bumps and bruises and deletions and all of it. The end, I feel fulfilled, is not right now, I feel overwhelmingly fulfilled by our relationship in total. Yeah, I think you have summed everything up. But you also in in this, you know, you had to describe it a little bit and sort of explained, you know, the bumps and, you know, the peaks and the valleys and all of that included. That's the part about relationships that I don't think everybody fully realizes is inherent to a relationship. And those peaks and valleys are not everything, you know, when you're when you're in a valley. It's temporary. Yeah, typically, yeah. And It's, you know it kind of like you've you have maybe we've prided up on this podcast before the drunkards walk, where it's not the highs. It's not the lows. It's it's the average of it all. That's that's where the reality lies. Exactly. Yeah. And so what you just said that sort of what my mind is encapsulating. Yeah. And actually, all I was trying to do is show you up. Oh, well, I mean, you said like, a million words in your sentence. And I'm thinking like, I was trying to word all that. I was trying to, like, Can I do this in five letters, and really blow our mind, you are rather competitive. I said it made to tell doesn't come across. But I can tell you were impressed. I was impressed. We might have passed it over. Quickly. I think it's not the worst thing to spread this out a little bit intelligent change. We do have an ongoing promotional code to get. I think it's 20% off. I said, 10 could be 10% off. It's just it's 10 to 20% off, depending on discount to discount on your order broken tiles. 10 is the discount code. And then the intelligent change.com. And they have many different products. One of which is this question game that we're playing. Yep. As well as the Five Minute Journal. Yeah, The Five Minute Journal will lead with with your quote. Yeah. And I love that thing. Yeah. And they have many more products. They have a productivity calendar, which is fantastic. Lots of things. So we definitely encourage you to check it out. But also, how could they win a free game? Super easy. All you have to do is follow our podcast on Apple, podcasts, Spotify, we're on Google. And you can also get it on Buzzsprout our server, but all you have to do is basically go to any of the podcast services, follow it, we'd love for you to share it, download an episode. And then just email us that you did all of that at broken tiles podcast@gmail.com. And we'll send you out a game, we've done four of them. And this is our fifth podcast. And so we're rocking those out. People are digging it a little bit. I'm finding out from some people that are getting it that not everybody loves playing the game. Yeah, it's kind of funny. We've had some feedback. A couple friends saying, Yeah, I don't know that we want to ask each other those questions within their relationship. But that's okay. I think we're gonna break it up a little bit here. Are we on our third question? Yeah, we're getting ready for it. Are you gonna play now? Okay, we decided that, instead of Stacy dominating me, and asking all the questions, manipulating me that I'm going to, I bought a book. Okay, I bought a secret book, a secret book scope questions? Oh, it's called def questions for the game of life. Okay, I'm intrigued. I mean, I'm not banging on your sponsor anything or your affinity for? I do love them. I do too. But I've got to participate. Intelligent change. Here's my question for you. If you could have been told one thing that you weren't told as a teenager? What would you have liked to hurt? I know the answer immediately. This doesn't last forever. It gets better. That's what I needed to hear. Wow. But would you have been able to hear that with what you now know about like brain development, it's like, it would have had to have been said in a very genuine way, not from parents that were pissed off at me and not happy with who I was. It would have had to come from a different source somebody I trusted and, and relate it to maybe a friend, I don't know. I didn't trust a lot of people. I wish somebody would have told me to above all else above, working in work ethic and throwing for touchdowns in football, and all the other things that I was told. I wish I would have been told that above all else, it's a college degree. I think if I would have heard that more, and it would have been more of a preeminent, this before everything else or this as part of a normal circumstance. I think it would have been, I'd like to think it would have resonated. Yeah, it's interesting because at that time, I kept hearing about how college was important and I didn't follow through then. But you and I both experienced lots of barriers because of it. But right now there's there's this big dialogue about how college isn't the end all be all that everybody thought it was. But could could either one of us And push to a trade school or something where you can gain some traction in life and develop a career instead of stalling out, you know? Well, I'm trying to find your way. And I would like to think that we'll have to ask the kids individually, but I think it was a big priority in our household in our household that stays with me to raise our kids trying to make that and not a mandatory thing, but the overall importance of that being a box that they want to check down the road. Not all of them have finished, but the reality of it is, I think, you know, I think we made it a keystone part of our parenting at least, yes, but not not just a you go to college because we said so. Right. It was we have struggled financially and maybe we wouldn't have struggled so much had we done this so that means we had those honest conversations like what you're seeing right now, with your dad struggling right now. It's because your dad is a junior in college. He didn't finish X amount of final credits. We did find we did great, but my path would have been so much easier with a piece of paper cleaner, leaner, easier, less, less highs and lows. I totally agree. Yeah, however, would we be the same people we are right now had we not gone through what we went through? You know, I didn't go to college. Listening to these guys. What a waste of time. I've got a master's degree in European frickin pop. That you do. We are going on to the what color we typically finishes. Yes, we finished the yellow. So now we're moving on to red closest. Interesting question. Episode I heard that. That's called scatting. Yeah. I think you know, what else is scanning? Yeah, I know what else is very aware of what else was only trying to speed us up earlier. So. Okay, are you ready for this question? I've never been more ready. Have you broken anyone's heart? Great question. I don't, I'd be so comfortable asking her i don't think i There's only one person you know who it might be the only broken heart The only person's heart broken might have been Kirsten, because of the and I'm not saying I did. Because she was in college. She had her future. She was sort of going in our direction. But she was my best friend in high school we dated and then we made it into our freshman year in college, still dating, she was going to Fresno. And there was no barometers in our relationship at that point. That would have been signifying a breakup none. I love her mom and dad, we got along. I loved her brothers. Everything was kind of that sort of chill vibe. I kind of unexpectedly to myself even broke up. So it's a tough question. But that would be the only one that I think of that I could have possibly in that moment. Maybe she didn't see it coming. But I also know Kirsten well enough that she's kind of smart, strong and had a direction going with college that maybe I see it as somebody I hurt more than I did. Because we were what 19 You move on? Why did you break up with her? That one is very interesting, because probably looking back on it. It was just me being superficial in feeling myself as a freshman in college. And you think she was back for a break? Management? You remember that first podcast, we talked about how good I was at being 99%? Brian? Yes. That was going on? I gotcha. Yeah. And I think looking back on that I don't think I committed my 5149 to Kirsten, I was still 99 85% Brian and I probably said a moment like, I literally just want to get with other girls. I want to kind of enjoy this college experience. I can't tell you what my thought was, but I think it was probably that shallow. Yeah, I think that is a lot of what it's like to be young. Right? The focus on yourself and it's not I wouldn't say it's even fully selfish. The brain isn't fully developed until 24. You don't have the you don't have the physical capacity to understand consequences, or you know, ramifications of how your behavior might affect somebody else. You're not You're not actually capable of even seeing things. So I think that's that's part of what it means to be. Yeah, no, of course you get all the room to answer it, but I'm gonna guess I think you know it. No, I know it but is the other side of it. Breaking heart? Is there a chance you have three? Three? I think so. I'm thinking. I'm only I guess we can say first names right now. Right. It's Frank Scott. And then I feel like your highschool breakup might have been a heartbreak. I did not break his heart. He broke mine. Okay, so to to Yeah, I don't know if I maybe I broke Scott's heart. i Yeah, I suppose because of your involvement with his son. And I think you were I think you were pretty. We live together for a while it was. But that was my my, my name. My number one. The person I was immediately thinking of, is Frank who I broke up with when I met you. Huge mistake. Now, it was the right move some Italian guy with a British accent. Yeah, that was pretty in the way he said my name it that I wouldn't. It was pretty awesome. I I wouldn't break up with him. i It was it was a hard thing to do, because I knew it was gonna break his heart. And we were technically engaged. Although he hadn't given me a ring. Right. He did ask me to marry him. And I said yes. And the plan was he was going to move to the United States. Yeah. And he quit his job. And after he did that, I said, Yeah, I I think I'm gonna end it. I'm sorry. I met somebody else. And it wasn't me. Wasn't me. It was you. Left. I'm trying to figure out what Scott worked in there. Man. You were a player. I was well, I leave. I was writing letters to you. And then I met Scott then I decided there's no way it can work out with this Mr. Santa Cruz there's there's no way so essentially an episode of The Bachelorette. You're making out with three dudes tell them you love them. I didn't tell you I loved you until after I got in there. Because I wasn't saying Stacy right? However you said it. Well, how many Stacy's Were you dating at the time? I only can use Australian accents. And that last question is hurtful. And it was unnecessary was such a short period of time, but it's just irrelevant that three to four stays exactly. I knew that I needed to find a Stacy and it just took me a little while. It's all I'm okay with that answer. So I think that's sort of a wrap on it. I can't tell if we saved a lot of time yet. But I think we're going to come in under 51. Which is a record. Are we or are we not playing the game anymore? I think we are done with the game. That was question number three. No, I mean, as far as the blend game, oh, we're gonna we will play our blend game as we are fading out so people don't have to suffer us guessing and whining about how many times I've lost. You gotta help me cuz I'm looking for it. Looking for what? The blend mix. Pull up your playlists hit the playlist icon at the bottom. I got that. You don't see it listed there. I'm just gonna randomly play something. And we'll kind of get out of this one. And you can kind of guess who it is. It's all going to be mine. Oh, well. She's one of about four bands. Right. So I wasn't ready for this. So I think we'll leave today since I knew we were kind of putting the kibosh on the game because it was wearing on people a little bit. Well, I don't know about wearing on people. It's just not relevant for everybody. That's true, the songs our kids pick, right. And that that's very true as far as that one goes. So we'll go out with how we came in. Next week. We can go a little bit more of we can do a little bit more of we never make it to this part of the song. That's true. A little bit more happy. Yeah, it was fun, honey. It was funded from Live from San Francisco with our dogs sleeping on the bed. Yes. And in case anybody has gotten used to the wind chimes in the background and the dog clicking on the wooden floor should sound pretty tight. Yeah, I think it's a nice nice change. Alright, let's turn this off and drive home.