Stacey & Brian literally sweat out an episode in hot & humid Florida while visiting the kids.
Questions range from what makes us feel loved, classes we would retake in high school and the craziest thing everyone did in their youth.
Brian confesses he started drinking and smoking at an absurdly young age.
Annoyingly , it turns out everyone on the planet has cheated except Stacey & Kenzi.
Someone in the family has arrested a serial killer and Brian thinks the killer is now listening in Folsom prison.
Kenzi & Bailey’s dog “Snips” has zero respect for the production and keeps trying to ruin the show.
“Mansplaining” is attempted with terrible results …
Aynsley & Brian tripped balls on the St. Pete Pier and ripped some rave music from two kids.
…and the podcast gets downloaded in Islamabad.
Stacey & Brian literally sweat out an episode in hot & humid Florida while visiting the kids.
Questions range from what makes us feel loved, classes we would retake in high school and the craziest thing everyone did in their youth.
Brian confesses he started drinking and smoking at an absurdly young age.
Annoyingly , it turns out everyone on the planet has cheated except Stacey & Kenzi.
Someone in the family has arrested a serial killer and Brian thinks the killer is now listening in Folsom prison.
Kenzi & Bailey’s dog “Snips” has zero respect for the production and keeps trying to ruin the show.
“Mansplaining” is attempted with terrible results …
Aynsley & Brian tripped balls on the St. Pete Pier and ripped some rave music from two kids.
…and the podcast gets downloaded in Islamabad.
Welcome to the broken tiles podcast. With Brian Spacey. Today we have Yes. Bailey up to NZ shisler. Hi. And Ainsley up to Hello. B Ainsley and returning. Where are we? We're in St. Petersburg, Florida. When visiting Bailey and Kenzie, finally it's been a year they've been here and we're finally able to come visit a year. But we're so excited to have you guys.
Brian Upton:This thing has gone. Absolutely. Beyond the millions of followers we have now, which I've referenced. This is our second mobile broadcast, which is incredibly expensive. The production value to bring this thing 3000 miles to the east coast to St. Petersburg, Florida
Stacey Upton:is 3000 miles.
Brian Upton:It's 3000 miles, it's a million followers. That's a huge budget.
Stacey Upton:There is a lot of grandiosity happening.
Brian Upton:There is no ass in that word. You said grandi Asante, she
Stacey Upton:definitely did.
Brian Upton:The playback will validate my so we're excited. We are we were excited to do this. I think we planned this trip a month ago. Right? Roughly ish, and maybe a little more. And I think the the plan was to bring the podcast equipment out and play the game with the kids. And so we're super excited. I think to kind of get this thing going. We're going to try impossibly to stay on time.
Stacey Upton:We will attempt and one thing I wanted to mention is we have an additional guest who you may hear panting in the background snips.
Bailey Upton:That's our golden doodle. Two year old puppy who is laying directly under the table begging for pets from all of us right
Stacey Upton:now. So unprofessional part of the family. Should we get right into the game? Let's do it. Well hang on now I can't remember years kids are okay. I've chosen questions that are applicable to everybody here. Not necessarily focused on couples. So we can we can all answer this question number one, guess who found a new buddy? What makes you feel most loved? And we will start with Ainsley. Oh,
Brian Upton:Leanne Ellen's.
Aynsley Upton:Um I wasn't ready to go first.
Brian Upton:This podcast isn't tense.
Aynsley Upton:I think without having time to think about it too much. What makes me feel most loved is just quality time, I guess. And like intentional time. And being able to have conversations with somebody that has listened to me and knows who I am. So that kind of time spent is good.
Stacey Upton:A familiarity with somebody? Yeah. Yeah, that's nice. Definitely feels good. Things going really
Bailey Upton:well makes me feel most loved. My first thought was basically what Ainsley said I think our whole family probably feel that way. Yeah, just the time spent. Just kind of quality of time spent is very important to us and also using intention of time spent it's also important to me as to just yeah, obviously everyone wanting to be together. But that is probably one of the most important things to me is is exactly the same answer to so boring but it's just it's a yeah, it's just just as important to me that time spent with the people I love
Stacey Upton:Hey, kids, he's jamming. And let's see, what's your answer?
Kenzi Schissler:For me, it's all about words of affirmation. I need to hear that you love me and that you're happy to be spending time with me. And just like, hearing that you're excited to be with me and that you appreciate what I do those things really make all the difference for me.
Stacey Upton:There's lots of love languages happening here right now. Yeah, there are.
Brian Upton:Right and I think the thing we try to do is also expand this and I think, a question like that, we immediately get in the box of, for Ainsley, she's thinking of the people in this room. She's thinking of Stefan, but I think Kinsey's answer makes me think about, we can find that word love to our spouses, our boyfriends or girlfriends. But I think Kinsey's answer makes me think you're looking for that even in your curriculum, you're looking for that from a professor,
Kenzi Schissler:I'm looking for it from my friends, I want it in every relationship that I have, is really important. That's
Brian Upton:it, I think, for like going back to ainz Lee's, and knowing you so well, that it's not in the box of our family, or like we talked about, I think you're searching for it sometimes at an interaction serving coffee. Oh, always. And that's
Aynsley Upton:the thing. Like I've been able to experience that from the smallest of interactions with people at work, or in really great friendships. And it's something like Kennedy said, I look for it. In everything I do. I mean, even if even to connect it to theater, that's why I do theater is for quality connection and time right now.
Brian Upton:And I think it's my turn. So I'll go quick to expound on that a tiny bit. But to broaden the subject for people that are listening is yes to everything you guys said. There's no doubt about it that that would be one. But one a for this question. To me it would be I feel loved when I feel like equity in like, a surprising equity in the day. And that can be through a walkthrough with a client that respects what our guys do for work. It could be with the magazine where you inexplicably run into equity in a conversation or somebody showing respect. And I do feel a sense of the word would be like love for all that we are because you're like, oh shit, there's there's a little hope in humanity right now. And, and I do love when that happens. Like that good. Hold on stays. Some people want to weigh in? To my answer again. This is weird, but it happens all the time. I frickin love you guys to every single one of you wanting to know what a million people sound like.
Stacey Upton:Tell me. Interesting how these reactions only happen when it's your answer. And you are the person that has control of it all hurtful. Okay, for my answer, I will say kind of elements of what everybody has said. But if I feel listened to. And it's sort of reflected back to me, even if I don't know, I think that is a moment where I am moved. Because it says, Then then it feels like somebody was really paying attention. You know, I feel heard. And I think I think I probably didn't feel like that was the case a lot when I was growing up. And so it's really special to me. Now. I think I really appreciate that. One thing I wanted to say is, if anybody is listening and heard me mentioned love language, I think we've talked about it on this podcast before. But there's a book by Gary Chapman, that describes the love languages and also gives you a quiz and it can be found online as well. But so interesting to first of all, understand what your own love languages because you can share that with somebody that cares about you. And they can try to put that into practice. And then of course, you want to learn what their love language is, too. It's it really it's helpful. And just like Kennedy said, it can be more than just your partner. It could be the people that you spend time with in any capacity. And it's it's helpful. Just have that insight about yourself. So you know what's important to you.
Brian Upton:That was good stuff. You pulled the next question out to kill some time, guys last night. This is really good. anything last night is positive. Oh, I stole this from a dude laying next to us. The ravers. Wow, I'm actually funny. Yeah. I don't know how to play club music. And I was like I was ruthless to soul. Wait, tell them Kenzi what that is down there.
Kenzi Schissler:So down on the St. Pete Beach Boardwalk or not boardwalk, the pier. There is this incredible art exhibit. And during the day, it just looks like this weird mesh canopy but at night. They. Yeah, they light up the mesh with different colors, that kind of change. And it sways in the breeze. It's so beautiful. And last night, we kind of sat underneath it. And there's areas where the sky kind of peaks through through big holes. And these people next to us were listening to really awesome. Just we were taking it in. It was awesome. Yeah.
Stacey Upton:So this art exhibit is by an artist named Janet Edelman. And she's from the Tampa Bay area. And I would encourage you to check it out. Even look it up online if you have an opportunity because it's really something
Brian Upton:and Ainsley and I would highly recommend laying on the grass no below the black hole and tripping balls. completely lose
Aynsley Upton:yourself in the space time.
Stacey Upton:And I think the music might have helped that.
Bailey Upton:Absolutely. It was the closest that I were tripping.
Brian Upton:They were and so I told mom this morning, they said I think I found a portal into the youth as far as what they might be doing when they have those silent kind of raves. Yeah, I still I think I finally found the music. They might be listening because they're super chill when I see it for sure. And they're listening to something. And I think it's this dude,
Stacey Upton:it's not surf punk. Okay.
Brian Upton:Oh, Stacy. Yeah. Is it every single pet, we pay this band $1,000 to transition? Oh, snippers payment must be it must been that high pitch noise.
Stacey Upton:Okay, so I've chosen another question. And it, it can be used, you know, in a couple of situation. But I think I'm going to turn the wording around a little bit to make it more usable for this scenario. So the question is, do you feel accepted by me? And I'm going to turn it to say maybe what makes me feel accepted? Ooh, is that answer too close to what we just had? Might be
Brian Upton:makes me feel loved. It makes me feel accepted. It's, it's pretty close. My answer would probably be similar. Yeah. I could come up with someone else. Nice job stays. Yeah, well, wait around the whole show. I can save it. Hold on.
Stacey Upton:No. He's pulling out his question book you.
Brian Upton:Once you take a minute, get yourself in the organization of these questions to stimulate the conversation together, and I'll drop a bomb. Oh,
Stacey Upton:my God. He's mansplaining a small way again.
Brian Upton:mansplaining is a man slowly explaining things to you. It's the words combined together states. All right. You guys. Ready to get a little break? Here we go. If you had to name the craziest thing you did in your youth, what would it be? And we're very honest here on the broken tiles, podcasts. And we'll know snippers. So if you had to name the craziest thing you ever did in your youth, what would it be? Okay, you can go first. Are you ready? I'm trying to think I'm gonna be that
Bailey Upton:crazy. I mean, we just spent in Watertown. spent most of our childhood is in a basement.
Stacey Upton:But that sounds horrible. Random field. Please explain that further.
Brian Upton:Did you just tell her or worldwide audience that were your parents were in the basement? I think you said locked in a basement.
Aynsley Upton:Alone locked in a base.
Brian Upton:Does anybody have one that jumps at them right now? Because I can throw one out see me have you go ahead. I'll give you you guys have heard so many of my stories, but I'm taking this one to heart youth. I don't consider high school youth in my context, old as dirt as I am. But the quickest story I can get to without going crazy is in my fifth grade year. My best friend's name was Paul wind dust, and he lived close to us in SoCal.
Stacey Upton:Me We're going to not use names of an investment from
Brian Upton:40 years ago, Paul, I love you, by the way, didn't didn't do anything. It wasn't like a felony. He actually, he was completely innocent in this. His mom and dad, I'd have dinner over there all the time or lunch after school, and we have like a half day school. And I went home with the wind gusts. And they said that they were going to go to San Francisco, and that they needed to drop me off before they went unless I wanted to go with them. And I said, I'd love to go with you. He said, Well, you got to call your mom and dad and see if it's okay. So when the other room and I shut the door, and I didn't call my mom. And I went to San Francisco, and we went up there we had dinner. We had no thing. No cell phones, oh man. No communication. Oh my god gone and the ramifications of that. This was still in the days where my dad would right on the edge of it. But my dad was a policeman. And when I got spanked, he would use his police belt. You want to talk about being locked in a basement. That would be a crazy story from my youth that was just so ballsy. So just just so but a classic kid thing to do within hours in San Francisco with no permission, but those parents that a permission. Everybody thought it was great. So there's mine. Who's up. Ken, did you have one? Um,
Kenzi Schissler:I don't know. I mean, I think maybe at the time, it didn't seem so crazy. But looking back on it now it seems wild. Just the idea of like, sneaking out a window and driving to a party in the middle of nowhere. My parents have absolutely no idea that I'm even gone. That counts. I think that's it. I would never even do that now drive to a field in the middle of nowhere. It's so funny.
Bailey Upton:Yeah, I guess my mind would be similar enough to that I never snuck out growing up, but I would just be at Austin's and we would leave from there. But again, I don't know. I mean, it's just tough. I kind of felt like me and my friends. We just stayed at home.
Brian Upton:It's very true. I
Bailey Upton:think of specific things we enjoyed playing wiffle ball and video games.
Stacey Upton:I remember one time you came home with a police officer.
Aynsley Upton:Oh, yeah. I mean, oh, yeah.
Bailey Upton:I mean, that's good. And I was just driving without a license. Well, I had my license. In New York, you couldn't drive past 10 o'clock or whatever the time it was.
Stacey Upton:It was very late. And you were going fast. Yeah.
Brian Upton:Question. Next question was, what was the craziest thing you did? Not the craziest thing you got caught? Yeah. A distinction there?
Bailey Upton:Yeah. I mean, it's an Kinsey made a good point when you look at it. Now, it seems insane. But even just like the quarry parties we would go to Did you ever do that? Like that forgot about danger. That was just that is super dangerous. I guess it's yeah, it's a thing that we didn't think about at all. As a kid for
Stacey Upton:a party.
Bailey Upton:Yeah. So, guy, you would know from our show in high school that you coached through a bunch of parties in a quarry that hands down, right? Yeah. And we just be at the bottom of it partying. And it's like a super sketchy thing when you really think about it, but it's just super cool in high school. I guess that's a good
Brian Upton:quarry. Yeah, the thing is the hardest like that is is we used to talk about because yeah, we were the thing with coaching in that town, it was so small, we were generally 90% of where were all the kids were all the time at one point. And it was within a realm of reason of what you guys were doing. But you make a good point about it. The difference between the parties were thrown in the bottom of the quarry. But then you had alcohol and stimulants and alternate that there's also a way to get up to the top of that. Yep. And that's the thing about the disconnect between like, that's where the danger comes. It's not where the party was supposed to be. No, it's who might wander up to the top of that 80 foot face internet.
Bailey Upton:Of course, there's all sorts of Link equipment and stuff around as well. Like it's
Brian Upton:the other one that makes me think before Stace goes is that six crazy stories that like the craziest thing I did is also most of us have that story of when we snuck away and like had sex for the first time too, because that in your mind is crazy. It's a crazy town thing you just did. Because it's this fundamental moment. It's something that you did that if course you're going to keep it from everybody you're going to and so that one rings in my head is another seminal moment that most everybody I know they don't come rocking that news out to their parents the next day. Guess what happened last night?
Stacey Upton:Or several years later, we don't need to hear that. Yeah.
Brian Upton:We don't we don't we we do or don't I could care less. You know, as far as that goes. I think we had an idea I was only wrong on one kid. I was just, I was just off by 12 months, which kid. Ainsley any we don't know. That's just more fodder. But that's one that I think about as far as like Unifor for the broader podcast. Yeah, exactly. Stacy
Stacey Upton:does easily have an answer for this. Oh, yeah.
Aynsley Upton:Again, it's kind of similar to what Bailey in the way he said it thinking back on it. It's something I would never do especially like in the world we live in now. Like, it's just dumb. And it's not safe. But there was one specific night, and I was at a certain beach with cottages. Good job so far. And everyone knows what happens at that beach with the cottages. But there was one night where we just left we, we I don't think we necessarily snuck out because nobody actually cared. They just knew we would be right there. But we completely left. We took the golf cart down to the end of the road. And we just walked and broken to farm houses and was like, rolling on the hay bales. And we walked around that town until the sun came up. And I think we got coffee that like I don't know, we literally stayed out from midnight to 8am came home and no one knew anything. And we were definitely a little altered.
Brian Upton:There was some that was some that was some grown ass adult and party and right there ended up like partying to have breakfast in Washington. So that was
Aynsley Upton:the I think we came in and just poured some cereal and then went to sleep right out in the sun and
Brian Upton:to hide the identity of everybody that matters and keep this thing real. We'll just call that going forward. So no one knows. We'll call it smart, just speech.
Aynsley Upton:More just niche.
Brian Upton:It's like a Harry Potter space.
Stacey Upton:I didn't go yet. I'm trying to decide which story to tell. I wasn't that crazy. But for me, it was crazy. One thing that I actually did several times in my youth before I was fully a teenager, no snips. I had a neighbor. I lived in the mountains in Colorado, and my neighbor was my same age. He and I were really good friends and we loved to hike. And so he would come to my door in the middle of the night. Tap at it. I would slide open the door climb out, and we'd hike in the mountains in the middle of the night. Oh my God, my dumb. Yeah, I realized that now but it was so there was one time. One time I got scared was we found it was like a rock ledge. And underneath it there was this little opening kind of like a cave, but it didn't go back very far. And there was a potbelly stove and a sleeping bag in there. And I was like, Oh, no. There could be some stranger around watching us. Oh, and another time that was also scary. We found a house that was being built. And so we were kind of exploring it. And then there was another house like right behind it. And we heard someone come out and he shot a shotgun in the air because he could hear somebody prowling around. I mean, he could have thought we were a bear. If there were bears there again, why were we doing? So but those were exciting times and so much fun. Yeah, it sounds like it. That's where I got my love of hiking. Yep.
Brian Upton:Let's jump in and do our intelligent change. Update. Oh, yes,
Stacey Upton:the update? Well, I
Brian Upton:mean, tell him what we do.
Stacey Upton:Okay, our sponsor is intelligent change. And the questions that you're hearing us ask, except for the last one, come from a game called Let's get closer. And so this is a game that's really made for couples, but they also have other games that can be used for different groups of people as well. They also make productivity planners and a five minute Five Minute Journal, which is a gratitude journal. It makes gratitude journaling. Very easy. And you know, that doesn't take very much time to do it, but it's super effective. I love this organization.
Brian Upton:And it's intelligent change.com The broken tiles 10 is a discount. What's that promo code promo code you can use to get 10% off I did find that out and intelligent change.com and broken tiles 10 And also, we're still giving away games every single week. And that's broken tiles podcast@gmail.com You just follow the show on Apple Spotify, download the episode, share it with a friend. And then email us. It's an honor system emails that you did all those things. And then we randomly once a week, send out a game, and I talked to our sponsor, and we're also gonna be able to send out occasionally a journal.
Stacey Upton:Oh, that's great. And I will tell you, we've heard from a couple of people who got their games, they're very excited about it. One of which said that once her life slows down, she'll start playing it. But she's looking forward to it. And she was also had mentioned before, you know, these questions or maybe something unlike they've done before as a couple. So I think it's pretty exciting that people are willing to kind of go there have conversations that maybe haven't taken place before.
Brian Upton:And just our fun little update we do every once in a while. 835 downloads, which is
Stacey Upton:awesome. I can't believe it did. You kind of boggles my mind. And then
Brian Upton:here's a couple of the funnest cities I saw this week on our analytics. How about Cape Town?
Stacey Upton:Why?
Brian Upton:I don't understand what part of global phenomenon you're not getting in this.
Stacey Upton:I don't understand it, but I'm really excited by it. Folsom California. Do you know what's there? That's a prison isn't that's a prison?
Brian Upton:I think that's where somebody might get arrested is that's a serial killer. I'm not shitting you next podcast
Stacey Upton:that's a good topic to cover some time.
Brian Upton:It is because that is so that's juicy right there that I just dropped in the eight second thing that we have a listener? Possibly actually I'm gonna say this to Him. Shout out to you. That's a serial killer that my dad caught.
Stacey Upton:We don't know that for certain that's a city. Also. It's only a prison. City prison is amazing.
Brian Upton:Like, right now my kids are looking at me with it's when you're famous Stacy. Is this really awkward the first time you feel your fame? And you see the look in your kid's eyes of I don't know. Is it wonder?
Stacey Upton:I think you're misinterpreting all for questioning. Maybe disdain. Anyway, no comment. Okay, now we're on to question number three, which is read closest. So this I chose because we can each answer individually. Or you can ask someone to answer for you if you choose. What is preventing me from becoming the person I want to be?
Bailey Upton:This is prevented?
Brian Upton:I can Is there any way to translate that? snips? Answer the question that she sent us the positive cheek she had enough time to contemplate it. snips answered that question
Kenzi Schissler:saying the lack of treats,
Brian Upton:treats and some goddamn peace and quiet. Is anybody ready? Right off the bat.
Bailey Upton:He read the question one more time.
Stacey Upton:What is preventing me from becoming the person I want to be?
Brian Upton:I can answer well, everybody's thinking. For me, it's that we talk about it in our family states I talk about it all the time is I'm on a journey. Like it's like trying to like be a little bit. It's a it always comes down to me as far as like empathy. Like, I feel like it's a path that we talk about all the time that like, you know, engaging people creates empathy. Empathy is a path to understanding. And I'm not close. I mean, I'm 54 years old, and I know I try I try hard but I think for me, the person I see myself being is like, you know, I hope I have more time on the planet because I'm not there yet at 54 and so that question for me the answer to it is is that I want to keep playing that empathy game because we I think we even talked about it at dinner the other night is we were such a position this table. We're in such a position of it's a canned word right now but privilege that it's a it's a harder game to fight from a position of privilege not whammy not only For me, but it is a harder game to fight to get to a proper level of empathy when you are coming from this spot, so that to me is the that's the it's a block for me, not an overall block, but it's the challenge for me.
Stacey Upton:That's a good answer. I want to
Brian Upton:help you, you know, that I only this is there, every time I talk, I, I bring this in. Because it would kill the whole podcast if every time I just let the audience go. We wouldn't have a podcast. Anybody else ready? Um, yeah, I
Bailey Upton:can go. I'd say. For me right now, it's the same thing for the past few years of it kind of in decisiveness to pick a lane for my future, I've just, I have always kind of struggled to justify my time spending my time doing things I don't want to do to a point where I'd become fall into massive depression, when I'm spending most of my time doing things I don't want to do. And the thing they don't want to do most of time is work. With just talk, I mean, you got to work down, you can't get around that. So that's obviously my plan. My hope is to find something that I can be passionate about and direct my time and effort into so that I don't feel like that when I'm spending most of my time.
Stacey Upton:What do you think, would have to happen for you to fall into that?
Bailey Upton:It's just tough. I'd have to find something I'm passionate about something that I'd want to commit my life to doing, I suppose, is just tough. I mean, it's not it's not nothing really that's
Brian Upton:I don't think it's a huge thing. I think we we pause in the podcast every once awhile to make it broader. Sometimes it feels like that questions about you about us. And I think the broader subject is, sometimes what I like to do is look at other practical things that I can model. And I think sometimes the end is something that most all of us want, we all want the end part of it, but the fundamentals of it are the part that you that we have to put in place to get to the end that can be retirement planning that can be what your girlfriend's going through right now with PA school, is that the the pressure we found out this week can be so great at certain times during that, like with Kenzie is is that but that is the part that you have noticed have to like put blinders on and do the fundamental parts and then almost guaranteed, you know, he's founded at Metro in theater that the head down grinder part pays off. And so that's just more broader advice. It's not Bailey so much. It's just like, we all struggle with that part where we want that in satisfaction so fast that we sometimes don't even get started on the first part of it. Right. Okay.
Aynsley Upton:But it's also I think, where you and I are similar. It's recreating, it's recreating the nine to five, for what works for you, right, because you and I have found out pretty quick, that is not what we're going to do, like what's not going to do that. And we literally can't do it. No matter how good the money is. We don't
Bailey Upton:survive if I'm not happy. Exactly. I just won't do that. Yep, term. Exactly.
Aynsley Upton:And like, I just got lucky that I found it in theater, you know, and it's just you and me are recreating what that looks like. That's a great way to put it. Because we could not survive. Yes.
Stacey Upton:Yeah. I think that can be said for a lot of people. This reminds me of James clear, who's an author. And he I can't remember the name of his book right now. It'll come to me, but it's an excellent book about behavior change. And one one thing I really took away from it, that's so important is we have a goal. And there may be like, this question is asking you the becoming the person I want to be? Well do you know, first of all what that person you want to be is? And then the next step is, you know, once you've defined that, or defined it enough, figuring out okay, well, what are the small steps I'm going to do to get there? And that's the part that becomes your process. And you actually have to enjoy the process for you to get anywhere and it's really the process. That's the key. You know, you can think about that in terms of any kind of behavior change you want to make, say you wanted to eat more healthfully or get more physical activity, whatever it might be, you know, say somebody's goal is oh, he snippers somebody's goal is oh, I want to you know, manage my weight. So how are you going to do that? Okay, so I'm going to eat healthy. I'm going to get more exercise As well, if both of those things are drudgery to you, that process is no fun. So maybe instead, it's like, oh, I'm going to take, I'm going to go dancing three nights a week, because I love that. And I'm just going to make sure I eat more vegetables two days a week, you know, whatever. That is something that's so doable, but it is a process that you actually enjoy. And that's really what it comes down to. Yep, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Can you read the question again? Yes. What is preventing me from becoming the person I want to be?
Aynsley Upton:I can go go for something, a very common theme in my life is that I don't really adapt to change well. And so I think over the last year, I've kind of figured out that the person I want to be is someone who is adaptive to change. And what's getting in my way is honestly, just myself, I've dealt with anxiety and depression for a really long time. And it keeps me a little like, like, a little locked in place sometimes. But I'm trying to work through that. And I'm trying to accept that part of myself instead of trying to completely get it out. Because the reality is, I can get as much help as I want, but it will be there. i The point is to learn how to take care of it take care of myself. And I think that's the biggest thing standing in my way of being someone who will be in a position to constantly change. I don't think I'm ever going to reach a goal of this is who I want to be, I'm going to reach it and never move again. Because that's just not realistic. So what's getting in my way of being who I want to be, is being able to take care of myself enough so that when the time comes to change, I'm ready to change, right? Yeah, I
Brian Upton:think I'll jump in again on that. It's just so helpful. That's introspective, and it's so helpful to maybe someone listening, both of these, all of these answers, I think can be helpful in a way of, we're all going through this in some increments, and we feel so alone sometimes, but but the reality of it is, when you say it out loud, you realize, oh, shit, we're all going through different Yeah, in what you're going through, I'm not going through right now. But I have a time in my life. I'm like, that was me that you just said, that was me. I couldn't come up with the age right now. But there's a window of time where that was me. And you were me. And everybody is kind of like, it's what I like about it.
Kenzi Schissler:For me, it's maybe a little bit of a cop out response, because I think anyone could say this, but I think it's a lack of time. I feel like Like Brian said, I am in PA school right now, which takes up a lot of my time and energy. So I don't have as much time as I want to work on self development and sort of time to better invest in my relationships the way that I really want to be able to. But I think that I can definitely find time. I think that's something that even though we all think we're so busy, I think carving out time for those things to be the person you want to be for me that's, you know, someone who is stable and mentally strong, and who is really giving in relationships, and is really present in relationships. That's someone I want to be and I think I can definitely find the time to do that. It's just hard sometimes.
Stacey Upton:You're also in a situation that does require a lot of you, but it's temporary.
Kenzi Schissler:Yeah, it is.
Aynsley Upton:It also requires all of those things. Yeah. So it's good to know, it's already a part of you.
Stacey Upton:That's true. That's true. You know, you have the capacity for it. Yeah, I do. Okay, do I any dancer the first thing that came to my mind when I read this was fear. I mean, fear of all kinds of things, fear of being vulnerable, fear of putting myself out there. You know, I think I'm well I know I am closer to the person I want to be now than I ever have been because I have been able to overcome a lot of fear. I was a super shy kid growing up. I was somebody who never spoke my mind. I didn't feel like I had value. So why would anybody want to hear what I had to say? Took a long time for me to overcome that. And in some ways that's I think it was brought up before that's still the person I am. It's just a matter of fighting through it and growing and moving into this next. I don't know the person I'm becoming I guess, but fear is probably the crux of you know, any barrier. If you think about it if you get really granular with it. That's what it is for me.
Brian Upton:You will run up into a commercial break so we'll I think we'll finish with like a soft question at the end and then we'll play the game because did we get through you got through the Let's get closer part. Yeah, nice. We did so we got to pay bills. Were you guys laughing? I didn't realize the podcast was
Unknown:happening. We one airline pan-am stood poised on the edge of America ready to challenge the Pacific commercials 10
Brian Upton:and a half minutes. You guys wanted to get some coffee?
Unknown:From six continents for the fall.
Kenzi Schissler:We actually flew in on Pan Am. I heard
Brian Upton:where we applied to next. If this doesn't give you chills, you're not even human. But yours is from? The best sponsor we have
Stacey Upton:is not the best sponsor changes the best.
Brian Upton:I take that part back. You already didn't tell. The one I wanted hold on Stacy.
Stacey Upton:Brian is searching his book for another question.
Brian Upton:What's that little simple one is squared. Oh yeah. It's f squared. It's by Evelyn MacFarlane and James say, well, it's just a fun little book. We actually got three of them. There's one for couples, one general, and I think one a little deeper. So I bring it into kind of simple one to go out. Because we're really good on time. We're doing great. Awesome. If you could retake one course in high school, what would it be? Well, take your time you guys are kind of blown away by the overall production value. This podcast I think is right now. Like that's the stunned silence on such a dang simple question. I'll tell you what, I didn't know I'd have to kill time on that.
Kenzi Schissler:I have an answer. And it might not be the one you're expecting. Whoa. I would want to retake my art classes. Just how fun is it to have the access to supplies and sort of unlimited, like, set aside time each week to do art and just find ways to express yourself and in the moment? I couldn't have cared less
Brian Upton:where you take it with what you know now. Yes, yeah.
Aynsley Upton:I would love the
Kenzi Schissler:opportunity to spend you know, whatever, two hours a week just in an art room with unlimited supplies. Just do it.
Brian Upton:I love it. Mine is easy. And it's simple work related in California related Spanish. Easy, easy, easy and pay attention. I wouldn't. I wouldn't put the answers on the bill of my blog I had so many different ways to cheat on the back of the desk in front of me on the top my hat.
Kenzi Schissler:Your water.
Brian Upton:Oh with it. Oh. See, it's a generation's. It's only you
Aynsley Upton:the folding mind button.
Stacey Upton:I never occurred to me that cheap. Wow.
Aynsley Upton:You didn't need to
Brian Upton:people like you and me that make us cheat. Sorry. Alright, who hasn't answered? Um,
Bailey Upton:I definitely would have loved it. Not retaken. With BOCES they stopped making me take math, science and history classes. So I missed out on a bunch of stuff I wish I had taken in high school that you would think would have been to fourth gen ed, you have to take this class but chemistry. I mean, what's after, what are you supposed to take after geometry? Trade? I never got Yeah. I feel like yeah, it was awesome at the time, and I love BOCES. But now, at this point, not doing graphic design and not having taken a lot of high school classes. There's a bunch of
Aynsley Upton:Exactly. I'm really glad you said that. Because I was thinking the same things like math history. Yes. But then again, I if I were to retake them in the same environment that we do,
Brian Upton:no, no, that's right. And I can seize on to the question like retake it with what you know. Now for the purpose of this question for fun. Exactly.
Aynsley Upton:Yeah, I'm saying like, like science and math. I see i No matter where I went, I don't think it would have made a difference in my life. Right, right. It's not my thing. Now I know that, but I think I'm similar to Dad's, I would retake French and immerse yourself like completely, completely immerse myself. Thank
Brian Upton:them for doing Yeah, with back to 1984. And Toby, who was our teacher came in with all of his experience. He wanted to teach Spanish I had no interest. I would worship Him right now, if I knew now be like, I'm going to be an A student here. Yep.
Aynsley Upton:Yep. And I think, like thinking about it, I wish I had taken Spanish just to have it's better than taking French. But being able to speak fluent French today would have been really cool. Stace.
Stacey Upton:This is hard for me, because I enjoyed a lot of the classes that I took, I was not great at math. But I don't know that I'd want to retake it because I had to retake it in college. So I learned more than maybe I would retake my jazz band class. Because I was so fearful of doing solos, I could do a great solo in my bedroom by myself. But in the class it was I just was so shy. But knowing what I know now and and how I am now I had a lot more confidence than I did back then. I think that's what it was. That's awesome.
Brian Upton:band nerd. So you live your whole life. You were a band nerd. And then you would go your whole life with everything. You don't go back.
Stacey Upton:Yes. I love it with a little less nerdiness
Brian Upton:All right, we're gonna play the blame game on the way out so we don't kill too much time and then we never know where we're coming in. But then I think we'll go with the hosts you guys come up with a number between one and 15 and we'll we'll Oh Who is it? Wait, this this one doesn't count. They just kind of you. This is not the game. Is it? Matt Miller. Okay, was it seven this summer I can't look now, don't process it. It's just a vote. We'll listen to it for a little bit. And then we'll Don't Don't Don't talk get don't talk within your vote one of one of the family. It could be three. You can also the blend. Spotify blend also can be if you're one of the three you're in you don't have to get all three like if you say somebody's name and it's three people on it. You you're on the board. So mom's never won the game.
Stacey Upton:This time I found I did once again. I'm sorry. You're one
Brian Upton:of the three until until
Aynsley Upton:mom guessed it once right and then you changed your mind.
Brian Upton:That's controversial. We'll come back to the next podcast easily. Who's your guest Taylor? Yeah, I was Taylor because it sounds like he's getting filthy again.
Stacey Upton:Taylor. Yep. It's Taylor on YouTube. The song is by Kay flay. What's it called?
Brian Upton:Taylor and Bailey everybody's on the board for that one right.
Stacey Upton:What's the song called?
Brian Upton:This is four letter words by K play.
Stacey Upton:That's why I thought it was Taylor. Yeah.
Brian Upton:Kinda like it
Kenzi Schissler:just for the night. I want to be mean our big fans. Yeah. For that it
Brian Upton:was alright. It's It's the second time I think we're sort of on a we didn't trail out with Taylor's filthy one that was just a that would just popped out you are Yeah, this one's gonna bring us all the way out. We've got to get to the Salvador Dali museum. We got tickets in about like, four minutes.
Stacey Upton:We must go love you guys know it's so fun. Love you. Hi everybody out there.
Aynsley Upton:1 million of you