SPECIAL : "The Uber Mega Guest Jackpot Show"

When family gathers around the table, the conversation often turns to stories that tug at the heartstrings. Our latest episode is a tapestry of such tales, woven with threads of forgiveness, personal growth, and the evolving dynamics of relationships. With our son Bailey sharing his journey to self-forgiveness in the unforgiving job market, and Kenzi opening up about coming to terms with her father's actions, we bring you intimate narratives that resonate with the challenges many of us face. Guest appearances from cousin Megan and her husband Ryan enrich the dialogue with varied perspectives on conflict resolution and the healing power of understanding.

Keeping in touch might seem as easy as a text message, but it's the heartfelt efforts that count, such as the monthly calls and support during life's unexpected trials that truly fortify our bonds. Our conversation flows from earnest accounts of connection to bursts of spontaneity in a lightning round that challenges each guest to define 'the good life.' Laughter erupts as we balance the weight of our discussion with lighter moments, and the episode takes an impromptu twist when Tayler, Aynsley & Jack dial in from a stranded highway in Colorado, proving that life's surprises often lead to the most memorable stories.

Wrapping up, we tackle the nuts and bolts of motivation and persuasion, sharing our unique approaches to coaxing out that inner drive when faced with daunting tasks. From Megan's value-driven method to Ryan's dance with deadlines, each story peels back the layers on how we inspire action in ourselves and others. And as if to prove that whimsy has a place even in the most profound discussions, we let our imaginations wander through the enchanting worlds of Hogwarts and faraway galaxies, before Normani's unexpected serenade reminds us of the joy found in life's serendipitous moments. Join us for an episode that's as unpredictable and delightful as the community we cherish.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:02

Let me do my thing. Anybody else want to say it. This is the Broken Tiles podcast and we've got a crew Stace.

Speaker 2 0:14

We have a big crew. It's very exciting.

Speaker 1 0:17

Stace, can you go around the table and talk about our guests?

Speaker 2 0:21

Okay, we have our son Bailey. Hi hi I want to say bailey boy, you can say that you did already and his lovely partner yes, yes, that's me zach, how you play it in public. And our dear dear friend Ryan.

Speaker 5 0:46

Hello.

Speaker 2 0:48

And his amazing, beautiful wife and Brian's cousin, our cousin Megan, Hello.

Speaker 1 0:56

Fantastic, Our dear friend Ryan. That's my brother.

Speaker 2 1:01

Okay, that's true.

Speaker 1 1:02

And this is you heard it in the background already. My brother. Okay, that's true, and this is. You heard it in the background already and this is from a year ago Florida. One of our most popular episodes in Venezuela in the history of the podcast was Golden Doodles, our terrible podcasters. And that goddamn dog has come 3,000 miles to the beautiful Pacific Ocean which we're overlooking right now, and she's going to ruin another podcast and it we're overlooking right now Just to be on this podcast and she's going to ruin another podcast and it's going to be this one.

Speaker 4 1:28

She's committed.

Speaker 1 1:28

This is awesome, guys. It's fun. We always talk about having more guests because I think, for a million reasons, it adds something other than Stacey and I, as we did on our last one her new question game. You're supposed to be a foot away from each other and ask the questions into each other's eyes, yeah, which we kind of did, right, which?

Speaker 5 1:48

is going to happen at these short courts. That's a very good point.

Speaker 1 1:53

This is very, very intimate, and so I think we're going to play it. Stace, let's go right into it. We'll just play it like we normally do, and I'm not worried about time, you know. But we'll go through the questions and we'll, you know, ask the question. We'll kind of reverse it so you're not always on the button Bailey asking the first. You know answering the first question. So we'll just go, cause it is a question podcast. That's what Stacy does Drop it.

Speaker 2 2:20

Okay, you chose three red ones right away. Did you notice that?

Speaker 1 2:25

The green and yellow are for suckers.

Speaker 2 2:27

Okay, so we're going deep.

Speaker 1 2:29

Yeah, this table can handle it, yeah, right away.

Speaker 2 2:32

So I'm asking Bailey first.

Speaker 1 2:34

The table. Bailey's going to answer first.

Speaker 2 2:36

Okay, when was the last time you forgave someone?

Speaker 1 2:40

Oh, right out of the gate. Heavy, hmm, remember, try to get that mic when you answer everybody.

Speaker 4 2:51

Forgave someone.

Speaker 1 2:53

Remember what you did last time. You had a good strategy last time on this podcast.

Speaker 4 2:58

What was?

Speaker 3 2:58

that you passed and then came back Really.

Speaker 1 3:04

We should actually have a number right of passes, like how many? You only get one skip, mulligans. One skip. You do, bailey, get one skip and you can circle back around. You can burn it early. You can burn that mulligan on the first hole. No.

Speaker 4 3:15

I can come up with an answer, all right.

Speaker 2 3:18

Scooch closer to it when you're ready.

Speaker 4 3:24

I'd say, for most recently I've definitely had to put an effort, um to forgive myself. Just uh, since we've been here in california, I've been pretty unsuccessful in finding work, um, where that I wasn't pressing that. I do that when we get here. But after five months of looking it definitely became a problem, like more in my own head than in our own life. But the forgiving myself part more comes from understanding that it is okay, it doesn't affect our life in a negative way, and that the waiting for the right thing is better than jumping into something that would affect our life in a negative way.

Speaker 2 4:16

Right, it's not a reflection of who you are as a human.

Speaker 7 4:22

Right.

Speaker 4 4:24

And so that's a probably the first thing that comes to my head.

Speaker 1 4:29

Besides that, everyone else in my life the past few months have just been no, no reason to need to forgive everyone, anyone yeah, no right and yeah, it's hard to come up with someone else, so yeah and what we'll do is we'll pin it, remember it, and the easiest way to do it, as we do on this regularly, is we'll kind of go through and then that's okay. That's my stomach. Yeah, it's not even the dog there's a pterodactyl behind it. The dog it was a elephant bird.

Speaker 5 4:56

An elephant bird. An elephant bird, an elephant bird, an elephant bird. An elephant bird About a thousand AD.

Speaker 1 5:01

Approximately, approximately, but what we'll do is it's easiest to do it this way, so we can get through and you're on point with your answer and then after we'll open it up. Did any of that like strike you in a certain way? Did Bailey's answer like open up a conversation or a thought? So we'll just kind of keep moving, kenzie.

Speaker 6 5:21

So I've had a strained relationship with my dad for a very long time, um, and sometimes I take his shortcomings personally. I feel like it's a slight on me, um, but in the last few months, um, I feel like I have been doing a better job at forgiving him for things that he hasn't done to me. He was never doing those things to hurt me, he. Those were things that were happening you know in his life or that you know he was doing, but they were never against me.

Speaker 6 5:56

So, then really working hard on like forgiving him for those things.

Speaker 1 6:01

That's a good one, that that I have a pen, that that resonated Ryan Bernstein, my brother. I know it feels like everybody else is less than, but it's just the way.

Speaker 4 6:13

I feel, right now.

Speaker 5 6:16

I would say for me, I make kind of a conscious effort to forgive, often because I don't want to have a lot of conflict. Obviously, there's times when you need to run things to ground and you need to address issues, but a lot of things don't necessarily need to be talked through to to an extent where everything becomes a bit of a fight or an argument.

Speaker 5 6:41

So I I really try to just forgive often and let like let the little things go so that they don't manifest themselves into big problems. Obviously, again like there's certain things that you need to figure out and talk through yeah, but a lot of times, if you, just you know all right well, forgive them and move on. You can get on with your life, and no doubt just letting it go for yourself, in a way.

Speaker 2 7:05

Exactly that's smart.

Speaker 1 7:08

I told you to put a pin in it. That's actually, it's completely breaking the rules right there. I wanted to say something after Kenzie's. Did I? No, because I'm respecting the rules, the process this is a wild card but her voice is really cute.

Speaker 8 7:21

Well, you know that's the problem.

Speaker 1 7:25

That's why you let it go.

Speaker 6 7:26

I'm putting a pin in that one, forgive me. There you go.

Speaker 1 7:29

It's going to happen on live, my most recent time I forgive somebody. Six seconds ago, or apologize. It's going to be in about I don't know what 37 seconds. Go ahead, megan.

Speaker 8 7:39

So the thing that popped in my head was a challenging coworker that I think had I had told you guys a story about um. That's the thing. First thing that popped in my head Um and I know that we had a little conflict in this person like came to me the next morning and apologized, um, and I tried really hard to like okay, I'm going to forgive her. But she kept saying sorry, but, and so I had, and she told me something that was going on in life that was not good. It was like a really tough situation.

Speaker 8 8:06

So, I had to like listen to her and be like you know what she. She came to me, she apologized. I need to, you know, show her some grace. And that's the first thing that popped in my head was sometimes you have to, even if it's not a full apology, you have to maybe understand their situation and try to forgive them, even though you're like, oh it's frustrating. But just to kind of see their point of view, their perspective.

Speaker 1 8:34

Watch it. That's seriously close to an open discussion.

Speaker 8 8:38

Her voice is really cute as well.

Speaker 1 8:41

That's very close to an open discussion right there. I have a pin, too, for hers. I have a pin for yours. I have a pin for yours. I have a pin for yours, you're just great, nothing Perfect answer.

Speaker 1 8:50

That's a good one, but there's definitely a pin we'll come back to. Mine's been mine's fairly easy. I've been doing a tremendous amount of apologizing in the magazine industry lately and it's and it's. It's a very difficult situation because it's a clearly this is timely because in the last podcast, which was this podcast night before last, this one will be posted, so it's now. But is that it's putting a lot of stress and strain on it, two full-time kind of jobs, and I'm finding that way. And clearly, because the magazine is the secondary full-time commitment, it can't touch the landscaping full-time job, and so that's done in order not missing anything. So I'm missing things on the magazine side because something has to give. And so, as an owner, editor-in-chief, publisher, writer, all the things that I do Hold for applause. What's that Hold for applause? Why hold? I got the last podcast, which was the night before last, which this one's now, so that'll be yesterday, so this is the last one. I think I got a 23-second standing ovation on an answer.

Speaker 5 10:02

That's impressive. That's not easy.

Speaker 2 10:03

He's the only person that stood up.

Speaker 1 10:08

Oh yeah, you know what I screwed up? I didn't hit record on this. We haven't even started yet, is that?

Speaker 5 10:13

true, no.

Speaker 1 10:16

It was just mean what she just said. So I've been doing a tremendous amount. The apologizing it's been genuine but the apologies are done intentionally for it. To kind of come to the front of my mind Process, process, we need process, we need systems, the magazine, so it's for me. There's not much I can do about it right now, other than recognize that we're not doing it now and it's an intention. We're all doing this part-time thing. That's a full-time kind of obligation.

Speaker 2 10:48

But that's it, go ahead, it's my turn kind of.

Speaker 1 10:51

Actually. What I'm really feeling, though, isn't that it's this oh my goodness go ahead stacy wow, what did I do to deserve?

Speaker 2 11:04

that I'm sorry, the answer is about two seconds ago. I forgave you for what you did.

Speaker 1 11:15

How many times is that over 34 years? Oh, a lot. What's 365 times 34? I'm not here for that. What is it, baby? I know you got one. You have to have one. When you're six of six, you've got to have one.

Speaker 2 11:28

Actually really hard for me.

Speaker 1 11:33

Never made a mistake. No, that's not it at all.

Speaker 4 11:36

Never forgiven someone.

Speaker 2 11:38

No, that's not it either. I'm trying to figure out the most recent, and is it something that I want to say on a podcast?

Speaker 1 11:47

But that whole thing is like am I going to be affected? No, Then answer it.

Speaker 5 11:55

Is it going to hurt my feelings?

Speaker 1 11:56

Is it going to hurt my feelings?

Speaker 2 11:59

No.

Speaker 1 11:59

Answer it. Is it going to hurt somebody else's feelings?

Speaker 2 12:02

Yeah, maybe I don't know.

Speaker 1 12:06

Can you do it in I for the the purpose of the conversation, it's not it's not a confession. A family, it's not a confessional but even before you go there, forgive someone yeah, but you can even talk about it somebody. You can talk about it abstractly too yeah, okay, that's fine.

Speaker 2 12:19

So it was um during covid was, um during COVID, a really close family member and I had a a very rough conversation that I never fully understood the um, the beginnings of like how it got to that, and it was shocking for me and it really hurt my feelings. Um and I I just chose to be uh, kind of obstinate about it for a while and just kind of shut down, but then after a while I realized that, um, I think COVID was very hard for everybody and it probably really affected some people more so than others, and I think that was the case for this one individual.

Speaker 4 13:02

And.

Speaker 2 13:02

I just decided that it doesn't do any good to hold on to this, whether this person you know understands the impact they had or not. That's not really the point. It's about caring for somebody who is going through a hard time, so I let it go.

Speaker 1 13:22

Yeah, and then we'll open it up for pins now. Did anything really jump out at anybody from any other answers that they want to talk about? I got two.

Forgiveness and Finding Purpose

Speaker 2 13:33

Go for it.

Speaker 1 13:34

Okay, my first one was Kenzie's and I think it's very interesting about. I'm always fascinated by the evolution of a child into an adult as they view their parents, as they either are leveling up or going by their parent size. That hit me with that, because that's interesting, because I think you have two paths, two paths is you become an adult, even a teenager adult, and I think that one path is possible resentment and the other one is forgiveness, because, because there's a, there's a lot of resentment when you start seeing your parents as not just idolized parents, you start kind of like processing it, like going like, oh, you're, you're a fallible human and you and you're just a person. Yes, and that's weird for a kid. It's weird for a kid to say, oh, my mom and dad have this and that.

Speaker 6 14:23

And I think the first instinct isn't forgiveness, it's like confusion, it could be confusion so that's what I thought, even a little bit of anger, I think that anger probably where, like some of those feelings, um harsh feelings that I had kind of came from, but as I'm kind of coming into my like real big girl job and um becoming like more and more of an independent adult, all I can think is how easy it is to go down paths that would lead me to similar decisions that he's made, so I understand more and more.

Speaker 1 14:57

Is that actually what you get when you finish pants? It says, you can now go get a big girl job.

Speaker 6 15:01

Yes.

Speaker 4 15:02

It says you qualify.

Speaker 6 15:03

That's what my master's degree says. Big girl job approved. Big girl job, yes. It says you qualify. That's what my master's degree.

Speaker 1 15:06

Big girl job approved big girl job and then yours. If I heard you right now, maybe I didn't, but I because I don't listen, it's um I'm joking, but I think from yours it sounded like you. You basically moved on by forgiving her for without necessarily talking to her, and forgiving her verbally.

Speaker 8 15:23

No, so she did come to me. She came to you she came to me so I gave her like I was like, okay, that was hard for her to do.

Speaker 1 15:30

Right.

Speaker 8 15:30

You know things happened after that.

Speaker 1 15:33

Right.

Speaker 8 15:33

As well, which made it, you know.

Speaker 1 15:35

Now it's like we're kind of back to where we started, but I guess did the word leave your mouth. I forgive you, I'm just curious because-.

Speaker 8 15:44

Oh, yeah, let me think of okay. So she apologized and then said I'm sorry, but this happened yesterday.

Speaker 1 15:50

Yeah.

Speaker 8 15:50

Kind of like, almost like an excuse of why she treated me that way.

Speaker 1 15:54

Okay, and so I think, let me think no, but my pen says no. My pen's not putting you on point. My pen is more like thoughtful than that. It's like my thought is like. I think there's a really good human condition to possibly transitionally move on and truly forgive them. The words don't have to come out of your mouth, right?

Speaker 4 16:09

right right.

Speaker 1 16:10

I'm not saying I guess it's kind of a dick move if you don't, but there's going to be circumstances where they need to hear it. The other one is you need to move on. You need to move on from like that sort of like daily grind of obsessing over something and maybe you're just like I. You know that goes in this conversation. It's like that's super helpful If you can, like, in the quiet of your room, go, I'm going to forgive it and move on. Yeah, possibly.

Speaker 8 16:31

Well, I remember I can't I think I texted Ryan and was like, oh my gosh, I give her credit. She came to my room and said sorry. So I was like that I respected that she did that, even though it was, you know, maybe not what you expect. Like I'm sorry, you know it was it took some, you know, I gave her credit, took some courage for her to come do that and say that. So and I gave her a hug, and you know.

Speaker 1 16:55

Pins, pins, pins, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 16:58

Yeah, one for Bailey's for sure, cause I mean it can be a really powerful thing to be your own toughest critic and recognize where you have opportunities to be able to, you know, grow and be better in whatever capacity, as long as you have that second piece where you forgive yourself for whatever it is and then get out of your own way, because otherwise if you just wallow and you're just really hard on yourself all the time, you won't get anything done. But if you have both of those things it's a very powerful tool. So I'm happy to hear that.

Speaker 4 17:28

Yeah, yeah, thank you. You know, it's definitely a process, but the process is also a good thing, yeah.

Speaker 1 17:33

Yeah, it's one of the greatest pins of all time. Ryan, you're definitely leaving here feeling better about yourself. Hello, stacey.

Speaker 2 17:51

All right.

Speaker 1 17:53

I forgive you.

Speaker 2 17:56

Oh, this is a good point. I think you chose this one Like you really sought this one out.

Speaker 1 18:01

What is it?

Speaker 2 18:03

Why do you think you are here on planet earth? I?

Speaker 1 18:06

didn't. You'd think I did, but I didn't. All I did was I went to the red and I took every single one that wasn't a couple one. I took like five that I went, I just went through and everyone that wasn't couple I just randomly took them.

Speaker 2 18:16

Oh, this is the family edition.

Speaker 1 18:18

It should not be couple Like when's the last time we were most intimate? There's some in there where there was some sound like it was a couple to a couple one. I just went the first ones that were broader I took.

Speaker 2 18:30

It's very much a Brian question it sure is. So are we directing this to Kenzie?

Speaker 1 18:35

I think that's fair, or we can roll a dice or something.

Speaker 6 18:40

No, that's okay, I can answer first.

Speaker 1 18:43

Put your big girl pants on.

Speaker 6 18:49

Well, shockingly, it is going to come back to my big girl job. I think that I'm here to help people, and that always sounds a little cheesy Like. I work in health care, and I think it's a very common question when people are asked why do you do this job? It's because we all want to help people, of course, but I like to think that I do it at my job and I like to think that I do it in my personal life and I try and do it every chance that I get. It makes me happy and it makes me feel like I have purpose. So that's maybe what my purpose is.

Speaker 1 19:27

Wow, I like that, ryan. I mean, it's funny, I'm just being, I'm an announcer.

Speaker 5 19:36

It was a lack of eye contact when you said my name.

Speaker 1 19:39

You want one foot? Yeah, I'm getting closer Ryan.

Speaker 5 19:51

I would say this is too close. This is perfect. I would say along the same lines you know, to help and support friends, family, anybody you know close to you. Obviously, we've talked, we've all talked about it. I've recently lost my best friend and um I felt found a lot of purpose and just providing whatever, uh help and support I can for his family, which is little but it, you know, I think every little bit helps, um and you know things I can do for my wife and my parents and my siblings and just my close friends.

Speaker 5 20:35

I find a lot of purpose in that and so I mean it's definitely a very it's not a very grand view of it, but I don't know that I have a high purpose as far as what I can do for humanity. But I think, on a small scale, the people that are close to me can make an impact.

Speaker 1 20:56

I think that's really good. I got a pen.

Speaker 8 21:00

I also have a pen for that. I think we can only have one pen per.

Speaker 1 21:04

That's a lot of pens.

Speaker 8 21:07

You almost made Ryan spit out his water. I'm kind of the pen guy right now. To piggyback off of that. My first thought went to Ryan's good friend and his family. Just that we've stepped up and I do feel like we're making a huge difference and I feel like you know it's not a small impact? No, and that's my part of my pin.

Speaker 2 21:31

Exactly.

Speaker 8 21:31

Yeah, I think it makes a huge difference. And that was my first thought, and then my second thought was just my job and education and then my musical abilities I feel like, with my musical abilities, like just you know, helping anyone through their journeys of life. Could you know weddings, funerals, like any? Totally step of you know, good or bad, happy or sad, I feel like you can make a big impact with just music and it just speaks so much, sometimes more than words can. It just has a deeper impact. So those were mine.

Speaker 1 22:07

Pens. Best not be sending old pens around. Don't even think about a pen Stace. What's the question? Again, joking, because that would have made me clearly disconnected from three very good answers. I think where I've landed lately in a lot of it, I refer to this Berg's meditation. You know that I listen to every day and I'm not going to say that word for it. But I think where I'm landing is that it could be just. It's a word, it's a singular word I'm thinking of when this question is asked, and it's explore. But it sounds like that means means travel, and it does. I think it does mean explore, but explore relationships, explore boundaries, explore. I think we're here and we're very unique. This species is very unique that we have this cognitive thought and we're aware that we're here and that's a lot of pressure here and that's a lot of pressure. We have a lot more pressure than a hyena, you know.

Speaker 2 23:07

We have a lot more pressure than a pelican pretty easy fucking day out there, you know overall, an elephant bird that poor bird.

Speaker 1 23:13

Yeah, didn't do good for that bird didn't figure out their purpose I still can't figure out the logistics of that. No, it's not how it happened. Can we talk about it? Okay, put a pin in it no, no separate podcast it's kind of traumatizing. I told megan about how the elephant bird was made a thousand years ago.

Speaker 1 23:29

She did not like it, yeah she did not like it there's some movies where imagery there's some movie, there's some movies where I'm like, hey, ryan's like yeah, not for me, but that's it. I think it's. Um, I think I think the definition of that word is is is sort of possibly why we're here, which is feelings. I think you can use that word with all of it. I want to explore, you know, ireland. I want to explore my feelings, I want to explore new relationships. I want to explore somebody else's perspective. I think maybe that's. It is my answer. I think it's maybe, maybe that's.

Speaker 2 24:05

It is my answer. Mine might be similar to yours, but the the word I'm choosing is growth. So growing in so many different ways, but also supporting other people in growth, which is essentially what I do for work Right. There's so many different ways you can grow, and I think it's. We all have different growth rates and sometimes, like, what I'm trying to figure out right now is, um, I've always been sort of a striver, like really pushing myself a lot to grow in many different areas, and I have had to not do that at all so that I can heal. And now I'm trying to figure out, oh well, what's a good rate?

Speaker 2 24:49

to keep moving forward but not put myself in jeopardy again. That's really hard to balance, but I still can make some progress and grow in different ways. So I'm just trying to figure it out. It's kind of similar to explore.

Speaker 1 25:08

I know.

Speaker 2 25:11

It's Bailey's turn now.

Speaker 1 25:12

Everybody knew that.

Speaker 4 25:15

I think everyone shares a similar perspective and so there's similar answers coming from everyone, and mine's also in that same line of just. I think that the most important thing you can do is develop and maintain relationships with the people in your life. But people and also the things you care about, um, so that's just interests or or anything. Yeah, um, that's where I think most people find purpose is like ryan said, it's not like a grand plan, it's it. I think a lot of times it's. It's more fulfilling if you find, kind of in your small life, those things that matter um, and focus on those. That that's where you can find happiness and purpose and I loved it, that's a good one pins.

Speaker 1 26:03

I left it. That's a good one. Pins there was a pin. Pins.

Speaker 8 26:14

I raised my hand.

Speaker 1 26:16

Teacher, yes, sir, what do you got?

Speaker 8 26:20

No, I was just kind of what you said, Bailey, and also Ryan. I don't think what you do is small. I think when you said, oh, it doesn't have a bit, I think what you're doing to help your friend's family and what you're doing with your life, I think is bigger than you think. That was my first thought. I don't think you should minimize that, because I think it's a was my first thought, like I don't.

Speaker 1 26:44

Yeah, I don't think like you should minimize that, because I think it's like a huge it is yeah big thing in but it's hard to see that in the moment it's it's because you're just doing it right, is that? Is that the way you think about it's like it's just?

Speaker 5 26:56

yeah, it's almost. Uh, it almost feels like the bare minimum in some ways. Yeah, it's just. How could you not at least do whatever it is I am doing, whatever it is you are doing?

Speaker 1 27:06

Um, but it is it. It is from the outside, it is. It is a lot. I guess it's almost like a weird analogy. It's like a pro athlete. It's like that's what they would say. They would say I'm just doing my kind of like they a lot of those would be the bare minimum, but we're watch them going. That's amazing and it is. It's not a big, you know not to overdo it right now, but it is. It's meaningful and it's a lot.

Speaker 2 27:30

It is meaningful, not everybody will do that.

Speaker 4 27:33

It's totally.

Speaker 2 27:34

I mean, I think what you're doing is far more than what most people do. I mean, so many people say well, if you need something, call me. Well, nobody's going to call you. If you say that, I mean that is really disingenuine. People get uncomfortable. They don't know what else to say, but it's not necessarily meaningful, yeah.

Speaker 1 27:59

It's a lot because you have to, almost, like you know, for me it's like you know, I think of, like the most recent ones, my dad goes and you have an obligation to my mom from an emotional standpoint that wasn't there before. And then Gavin goes and you've got a new connection with you know, trent and Darren, but I have to literally put it in my phone. I mean, like the Trent and Darren I have to, you know, put in my phone, and I mean that in a loving way, because it's just there's.

Speaker 1 28:16

It's a lot of you know, it's that's just a once a month catch up call that. I try to do this month catch up call that I try to do. This is more same zip code kind of thing going on and my mom, we just handle with like FaceTimes, and so my point is it's not obvious and it's not easy to to literally carve out a piece of your uh weekly sort of schedule for someone else in that way.

Speaker 8 28:40

Um, it's pretty big thing and one sorry one more thing to add. To add um, this morning on our I think we were driving to get a new couch and we both said that hold for a pause 23 seconds and keep going. No, but we both said that we had texted our friend's wife and their daughter, like we had both separately not talking to like had both said like good morning and have fun at your volleyball tournament.

Speaker 1 29:09

It was like.

Speaker 8 29:10

Oh my gosh. And so I think we're making like a conscious effort to like contact them every single day and I do I? I I'm very proud of us for doing that, because I feel like we're. I think we're making a huge difference.

Speaker 1 29:23

And you're getting the thing about that. It's hard thing to say about it. You're probably getting a lot out of it, absolutely.

Speaker 5 29:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 29:29

And that that's the, that's humanity, that's what we do.

Speaker 2 29:32

Yep, it's so true Happy some bills.

Speaker 3 29:39

International is creating the most beautiful airline in the world. Oh, fuck yeah. We hired Emilio Gucci to design our unit when reversible coats of almond, green and apricot space helmets to keep out the rain, red space suits and sometimes something a little more comfortable. And we hired Alexander Gerard to do our Alexander. Gerard, alexander, girard, we have blue planes, orange planes, yellow planes. You can fly with us seven times and never fly the same color twice.

Speaker 1 30:09

I'm with you. Shocking thing is this airline went out of business with that marketing plan. They had space helmets and there were space helmets in this commercial. I saw them.

Speaker 6 30:18

As a fashion girly. Yes, I really appreciate it and honestly I think it's missing in the flight industry today.

Speaker 1 30:24

I agree Totally. What just happened?

Speaker 4 30:28

Lightning round.

Speaker 1 30:40

I gotta explore these buttons there's a lot more going on here than the three we use.

Speaker 2 30:45

Okay, I liked the suggestion of lightning round, so I think this is gonna be a lightning round question and my idea of lightning round. You gotta stop saying it. It's gonna be a one-word answer, as fast as you can, and we're gonna just go around the circle.

Speaker 1 31:05

And what's this called again, lightning?

Speaker 2 31:10

Okay, and Ryan, you're going first. What is your definition of the good life?

Speaker 5 31:23

And it's only one word Jesus Time, time Ooh.

Speaker 8 31:32

Balance.

Speaker 1 31:37

Skip.

Speaker 2 31:41

You don't get the music for that one.

Speaker 1 31:43

I didn't play it.

Speaker 2 31:46

Connection.

Speaker 4 31:51

Family.

Speaker 6 31:55

Contentment.

Speaker 1 31:59

Shit, that was so fast. What is this? This a lightning round? I honestly don't even know what the question is anymore definition of the good life hmm, boy, this got me a little bit. You guys were really good at that definition of the good life one word is hard and somebody's already used balance, god damn it. Ainsley's calling. We should get it. Hold on, I think we can get it live on the air, ainsley. Taylor it's me. Hey, you're live on a podcast. What's going on? What do you guys need?

Speaker 7 32:43

No dice Everything is broken. Now the car won't even turn over.

Speaker 1 32:49

Guys, this is a breaking news update. This is Taylor in Colorado. They're broken on the side of Highway.

Speaker 7 32:54

What what are we? 285. Highway 285.

Speaker 1 32:58

And they're broken down there. Do you have your U-Haul?

Speaker 7 33:01

I'm in the U-Haul down there and do you have your u-haul and?

Speaker 1 33:05

then the u-haul we put a cooler, we got a hotel, oh you didn't go to frank's.

Speaker 7 33:08

Well, we texted him and never heard back. Just said I, I just didn't want to. I felt like it would have been something he would have offered for a sleepover if their house like accommodated it, right? So I said, hey, we've been working on working on the car for an hour, no dice. So we're going to take you home back to Fair Play and find a place to camp or get a hotel or something. We haven't heard back yet and the hotel was like $120. Okay, and it's two queens and we could just like reset. We're all just so cold.

Speaker 1 33:40

Do that. We're going to go because we are podcasting right now, but I'm going to allow you guys to answer a question as you're driving right now. And the question is this and you guys all get answers. It's a lightning round. You only get one word for this answer. Who answers One word? Anybody individually, but the question is this Go ahead Stace. What is your definition of the good life? It's. What is your definition of the good?

Speaker 7 34:06

life and you have to answer in one word Family.

Speaker 2 34:08

Aww, good one.

Speaker 1 34:10

Okay, that's mine. Taylor says family. What do I do now?

Speaker 7 34:15

Answer the answers. She got ill because of the stress.

Speaker 1 34:22

Okay, do you guys want to pass on that? There's a skip. You guys are all sick. This is the One word.

Speaker 2 34:29

Yes, One word Peace. Oh, I like it.

Speaker 1 34:32

Oh man, that's good. Okay, we're hanging up on you guys. We'll call you when you get to the hotel. Wait, I love the answer. Oh, I thought she did not want to answer. My fault, I'm sorry.

Speaker 7 34:41

No, I was just calling.

Speaker 1 34:42

I love you. I'm sorry if there was a sound effect, I could use right now I would, but we're on the phone so I can't use them. Um community, oh, that's a good one.

Speaker 3 35:01

All right now. I'm hanging up on you done.

Speaker 1 35:03

Thanks, guys we'll call the hotel. Bye. That is a ban, sorry Gone. This podcast has gone to hell. Am I still on the clock?

Speaker 5 35:09

Yeah, you've been on the clock.

Speaker 1 35:16

I still don't have a real answer my definition of the good life Home.

Speaker 3 35:25

I like that yeah.

Speaker 1 35:25

Yeah Home.

Speaker 2 35:28

I liked how that lightning round went Do you have a pen, a pen.

Speaker 1 35:32

A pen.

Speaker 2 35:33

A pen.

Speaker 1 35:34

Oh, all you have to say is I want to put a pen in it and then say what you said.

Speaker 2 35:38

Oh sorry, yes.

Speaker 1 35:40

A pen.

Motivation and Persuasion Techniques

Speaker 2 35:41

A pen, but not on anybody in particular, just on the lightning round okay, so you have a pin in the light. I'll accept your pin, go ahead wow um I I like the lightning round idea. It's the first time we've ever done that. We just made it up on the spot. Uh, because it really forced you to come up with something quick and meaningful, and everybody came up with something so good.

Speaker 1 36:04

Not so much me, well, except for Brian. Well, eventually you got there. I struggled, you got there.

Speaker 2 36:10

And then he said a bad word. Yeah, but one word is really hard for Brian.

Speaker 1 36:14

Did I swear yeah.

Speaker 2 36:22

How dare you? Are we on the last question now?

Speaker 1 36:26

No, I don't know. You have the questions.

Speaker 2 36:28

We're on the last question.

Speaker 1 36:30

We're doing pretty good.

Speaker 2 36:33

Okay then. All right. So, Megan, you're the first answerer for this one. What is the best way to get you to do something? You?

Speaker 5 36:48

don't want to do. I don't know the answer to this one.

Speaker 2 36:54

You're about to learn something really important for your marriage.

Speaker 1 36:56

This is where the podcast pays off, yeah.

Speaker 8 36:59

I'm pretty stubborn. What? Oh, you're very stubborn as well yeah, let's get real, that's right, can you read?

Speaker 2 37:12

it one more time what is the best way to get you to do something you do not want to do?

Speaker 8 37:30

might have to use my one skip it's hard no um skip that shit. I think I think, um, I need a lot of like a really good explanation, and maybe I need to see, like, what the outcome is going to be, or like believe in what the outcome will be and be invested in that If that makes sense.

Speaker 1 38:03

Yeah, totally does.

Speaker 8 38:06

Because I do get several. I'm'm just like I'm not doing this, that's it. So it's hard, um, it's hard for me to once I get to that point. It's hard for me to get out of that once I get to that point, if that makes sense as well.

Speaker 8 38:26

So I really think I have to see like the benefit of it, or believe in what you know is happening at the end, even if I don't want to do it. I need to see, like the, what good is going to come out of it, or is it beneficial? Or like the why, the why, and I'd also like I feel like I'm very, um, fair and loyal, and so if something I really don't want to do and I don't believe in it, then it's going to be really hard for me to to do that. Or if I don't I'm thinking about in terms of like people if I don't, um, agree with, like their values or something, and I I don't know why it's making me think of that, but yeah, I'm pretty like strong-willed in that sense where I'm like I'm I will not do that and I don't necessarily think that's like a bad thing, but I do think I can be stubborn and maybe something that is good, just because I don't want to do it.

Speaker 2 39:27

I'm going to put a pin in there.

Speaker 1 39:29

Ryan's got a big pin in there. Ryan just took six pins. Six pins. We don't have enough time. Does that mean that means me? Yeah?

Speaker 2 39:40

you're up.

Speaker 1 39:41

I think the best way for me is, if I can somehow turn it into, I really respond to competitiveness Like on some level and it doesn't have to be like win or lose, but on some level I do respond better a little bit. If it's and it can be industry competition, it can be I just want to be the best know, the, the best landscaper man you know, or, or magazine you know. I feel competitive that way and I think if I can turn it, then it's like I can't really sleep on that because I want to be the best at that. Um, and so I I think I responded turning it into a little bit of, uh, competition for myself I see that and the other way is do the opposite thing that you want, Stacey.

Speaker 1 40:24

And I get motivated to do it.

Speaker 2 40:30

For me. I would say I need time to think about it and have somebody ask me questions about why I'm thinking about it in a certain way and sort of prompt me to look at it in a different way and that will help me to see the other side of it. It's hard for me to get there on my own.

Speaker 4 40:56

I've always had a hard time trying to answer that question, but I'd say something I had learned to do and it might not be the best answer, but it puts me on a better path to the best answer. I would reframe the issue and not the outcome for myself, but how it can affect the people around me, and so finding motivation and something I don't want to do how that can better Kenzie's life. And that because I can have a hard time doing a lot of things for myself, but I can do easily anything for Kenzie or for the family or the dogs, even like this morning when we were freaking out.

Speaker 4 41:38

It's easy if I can reframe it like that. Like I said, that's not necessarily the best way to handle it, but it's better than it was before, and so that's something that's worked for me.

Speaker 1 41:48

Yeah, that's a good one.

Speaker 6 41:51

That is a good one. I am not stubborn and I am very easily convinced to do things. Just a little bit of gentle coaxing and I will. Yeah, I honestly like sometimes just like reassurance that I can do it or that it is helpful, just like um, and not getting like frustrated with me if I don't want to do something because that makes me want to do it even less. But just like gentle kind encouragement can get me to do a lot of things Even if I don't want to.

Speaker 2 42:32

I'll put a pin in that one too, you got a pen you have a pen.

Speaker 1 42:36

Yeah, oh yeah, have you answered?

Speaker 2 42:39

no, we're all waiting for this one oh yeah, you're going last, you're batting cleanup here we go.

Speaker 5 42:45

So I can be a bit of a procrastinator. So if I give myself a deadline, uh, or if there is a real deadline to get something, you know that I don't want to get done or don't want to do. If I've got a deadline and when it needs to get done, I can get it done. I just need to know when I need to do it and I'll get it done. So whether that's needs to be something I set for myself or there just is a you know is an end date on whatever it is, just having a deadline on that.

Speaker 5 43:17

Big motivator for me.

Speaker 1 43:20

Pins.

Speaker 2 43:23

Okay, let's see if I can remember what I was going to say.

Speaker 1 43:26

It was a minute and eight seconds ago.

Speaker 2 43:30

Oh yeah, I remember what I was going to say. I love what you described because I feel like many, many people in the world are, uh, think the same way. So, like what I was thinking about when you were sharing your process and, um, I was really thinking about behavior change and how so many people are not even in the pre-contemplation stage, which means they're not even thinking about the fact that a health behavior change needs to happen. Say, somebody with high cholesterol, for instance. They don't want to make a change in the way they eat, or they're just not thinking about it. They're not getting their blood work done or anything like that.

Speaker 1 44:22

She's pointing to Brian it's a pizookie.

Speaker 2 44:27

But it's sort of that you've got to really not only be aware of what the issue is, but how might things be better if you make a change? And I just think the way you described it is just so real. I think a lot of people feel that very same way and it doesn't mean. I think you started almost saying that you're stubborn, but I think that's just human nature.

Speaker 1 44:56

Yours was good. It was like it was tough for you a little bit, like you kind of worked. You know it was a good way, but you worked your way through, which I think was interesting to hear. I like that because it's fun when you get in the high weeds and you're the red light's on and you're saying it. There's something kind of real about that. I like that.

Speaker 2 45:12

Pins. I had another pin. Can I do a second one? I haven't done any yet. Have I? I can't remember, I don't know. Kenzie, the way you described yourself reminds me of myself, and I, in therapy, have really come to realize I am a major people pleaser and while it's nice, it can also be really unhealthy. So I put myself in positions where I've got too big of a burden because I say yes to everything and that's not helpful. But at the same time, I love to help people and I want to make other people feel good, and when you say yes to something and you see their face light up, it's like, oh, I did the right thing. Until you know, a week later you're like, oh my God, when am I going to have time to do this thing? And so that's a, that's a challenge, and I think it just takes time. I've gotten better at it, but it took a lot of time to realize what I was doing to myself.

Speaker 6 46:15

Yeah, and it um, you know earlier I answered that kind. Of my purpose is to help people. Saying no to someone needs my help. Yeah, it seems weird.

Speaker 3 46:24

That's my nature.

Speaker 5 46:25

Yeah.

Speaker 6 46:26

So, yeah, but you're, you're very right. It can definitely go down a path where I end up with too much going on.

Fantasy Worlds and Balancing Perspectives

Speaker 2 46:31

Yeah, it's hard to find that line, that right line where it's too much, and yeah, it's difficult On the question.

Speaker 4 46:39

we're talking about something you don't want to do. From my perspective, watching you, if you spend a day doing things only you want to do, you don't find fulfillment at the end of the day. Only you want to do, you don't find fulfillment at the end of the day.

Speaker 3 46:54

Like you, you almost force yourself to seek out, either whether it's a chore or some sort of challenge Like you get a lot of just kind of.

Speaker 4 46:58

you need that to be able to relax at the end of the day.

Speaker 2 47:02

Like you've accomplished. Yeah, that's exactly. Yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 4 47:05

So you do, and that that that's so far. The other side of the spectrum is me of like seeking out those things you don't want to do. It's a conversation you and I have a lot of times as we balance each other out with those kinds of perspectives. That's great, Like I 'll force you to do less and you'll force me to do more.

Speaker 2 47:21

But that's sweet.

Speaker 1 47:24

None of it's gonna make in the podcast what he just said. He didn't put a pin in it and that was great stuff. I was moved by it.

Speaker 2 47:32

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 1 47:33

We got to cut it all.

Speaker 2 47:34

You and your rules. Let's see.

Speaker 1 47:37

What's happening? You don't listen to the podcast because I sneak in a hot take on me. Every single podcast, in some form or the other.

Speaker 5 47:49

No, I did not know. That's what this is.

Speaker 3 47:50

That's great then.

Speaker 1 47:52

That's actually 19 seconds. Yeah, still not there Now.

Speaker 1 47:55

I'm hearing it yeah, took a minute. Wow, there we go, and we actually have time for one more question I pulled up while we were talking. I haven't picked it yet, but it's just great. It says favorite ice Breakers, good way to find them. That's a pretty good question. Oh, that's a fun one. Let's start with you, stacey. It's kind of just a real fun one. What fictional world or place would you like to visit? That's a fun question. What fictional world or place would you like to visit Anywhere? Hogwarts.

Speaker 3 48:30

Oh.

Speaker 2 48:31

That came to my mind immediately. It was between that and Narnia you don't get a clap on this one.

Speaker 1 48:38

You suck. You've got to clap Pressure's on Bailey.

Speaker 2 48:46

What did you just say?

Speaker 1 48:47

If you can't say a fictional place that you'd want to visit and it doesn't get a crowd response, then I'm just putting a little stakes in the game here, Because it clearly is such a fantastical question. If you say one, we're like oh, that was okay, but I mean kind of a bummer.

Speaker 2 49:04

Everybody has their own fantasies.

Speaker 1 49:06

I've got two buttons.

Speaker 7 49:10

That one.

Speaker 4 49:19

Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 49:20

Or that Bailey, two buttons, that one, or pressures on that bailey, come on here, come on, I know it's hard, I overthink it. Yeah, totally, or you haven't used your skip. If you want time, you have not used your skip. It's a fun one no, I can come.

Speaker 4 49:26

I mean, I could say anything that's on my head no works um, I guess I don't know what you'd call it. I guess a galaxy far, far away, like I like that yeah, anywhere it's tattooing, yeah, yeah, exactly that's what I think, where I overthink. It's like that star wars, it's a, it's a war-ridden galaxy. I don't know if I actually want to be there, but that's yeah, that's uh overthinking it. Probably you were deliberate.

Speaker 1 49:58

I was hovering. It's Star Wars. You know where I was going, kenzer, where are we?

Speaker 6 50:03

going, we're going to Barbie World.

Speaker 1 50:08

Where everything is pink and beautiful Uh-oh, where everything is pink and beautiful Whoa Sounded like the other night when I had that answer.

Speaker 2 50:18

You didn't stand up this time.

Speaker 1 50:20

So far we're going to Hogwarts, star Wars Galaxy, far, far Away. Barbie World. Where are we going? Caribbean, pirate Ships, nice galaxy far, far away. Barbie world. Where are we going caribbean?

Speaker 5 50:32

pirate ships, all the pirates and and treasure and all that stuff.

Speaker 8 50:38

Yeah, clearly, clearly that's good answer my answer just came to me, though, megan I would like to go to the marvel world, so, like Iron man, avengers.

Speaker 1 50:53

Thor.

Speaker 8 50:55

I know, but they're fictional.

Speaker 1 50:58

But you'd want to be in a world where we're sitting right now and Iron man flies by.

Speaker 5 51:02

I like that one.

Speaker 1 51:05

I might not get a clap for this one, honestly, because it's so retro, but it came to me and I can't go back from it. I might even get myself, because it's going to be no one's going to know it. It's going to be the place I'd want to go is. It's a PC game I played way back called Myst, and it's one of the earliest platform PC games. Oh, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, and it was for me. It's ingrained in. I'll just get out of the way because it's it's not. 95 of the people aren't going to know the answer, but that my answer is missed. I know exactly. I want these little islands in these. It's fantastical and it was something I'd never seen before. That's where I'd go no, I like that that one in sim city.

Speaker 8 51:45

Remember, like the early pcs games were those two it made me think of zelda, and I love zelda oh my god, 8-bit zelda.

Speaker 1 51:51

Yes, I want to change my answer. 8-bit zelda. Does anybody want to redo or go backs or anything? It's like it's just open long I started thinking games um go ahead, it's open, I gotta find the blend game anyways, the skyrim game.

Speaker 4 52:05

It's just another fantasy world, but that's way more of a fun place to be than a random sand planet.

Speaker 2 52:12

Can I say our last question, the previous question about what is the best way to get you to do something you do not want to do. I think a funny rift on that would be to ask partners to answer for each other.

Speaker 5 52:30

Oh shit, I already told you.

Speaker 1 52:33

We're really up against time on this thing right now. So we are right on the button here for our okay. So we're going to do the blend game. The blend game is a little bit out, you guys will know enough. But if we play it and somebody picks a number and then we skip through our thing and then we decide if it's, it's gotta be one of the the six. It's like one of the six Bailey, kenzie, taylor, brian.

Speaker 5 52:55

Megan doesn't know what you're talking about, but I do, I do.

Speaker 1 52:59

Okay, so the first thing I need is a number between like 1 and 15, something fun 11. Okay, so now I get this. Jenna 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. Okay, and then we just get to go around and say who, who are the? Who are the six with the speed scrubs? I'm, I'm, I'll go, I'll go, I'll guess first Taylor, yeah, taylor, taylor, taylor.

Speaker 8 53:28

Taylor.

Speaker 3 53:29

Taylor.

Speaker 8 53:29

Taylor.

Speaker 2 53:30

Taylor, yeah, and nobody else.

Speaker 1 53:44

I don't know what it is, and you know, the funny thing about this is like usually there's at least one other that's on a playlist. This is just.

Speaker 7 53:52

Taylor and Bumper on the night.

Speaker 8 53:53

I think we need to do one more. What's that? One different number? Let's do one more.

Speaker 2 53:57

Another blend Another blend Choose your number.

Speaker 8 54:00

Megan.

Speaker 1 54:02

Okay, wild card. What's the number? What's the number?

Speaker 8 54:04

between one and what, whatever Like 10. Okay.

Speaker 3 54:20

Nine.

Speaker 1 54:21

Do we know the song?

Speaker 3 54:22

Yeah.

Speaker 1 54:23

Stacey Run song Stacey.

Speaker 3 54:25

It's me, we're going again.

Speaker 5 54:28

It's me, that was easy. It's much easier when the person just said that, yes, sorry Three people.

Speaker 6 54:38

I was going to guess Taylor as well, because it sounds like a workout.

Speaker 1 54:40

What song is this? Bailey, tate me and Stacey.

Speaker 8 54:44

You have it too. It's Normani.

Speaker 1 54:46

Motivation. I don't know how the hell that got on my list.

Speaker 4 54:49

I've never heard this song. She's playing us out, guys. Thank you, that was awesome. That was so fun.

Speaker 1 54:51

Motivation. I don't know how the hell that got on my list. I've never heard this song. She's playing us out, guys. Thank you, that was awesome. That was so fun and that dog did not ruin the podcast.

Speaker 4 54:58

No, only the first couple minutes, see ya, wow, I didn't even think about it.